Unleash the dark carnival with these Magic: The Gathering Of The Juggalos cards

By B.G. Henne  |  July 15, 2015 | 7:57pm
Aux Features Games

With The Gathering Of The Juggalos soon to be descending on the pitiable town of Thornville, Ohio, casual fans and residents will need to get ready for the concerts, topless dancing, backyard wrestling, Faygo showers, hurling human waste at Tila Tequila, and all the other motherfucking miracles that are bound to go down.

Of course, sometimes Juggalos have to lay low and get their energy levels back up, for which there are all sorts of low-key Gathering side stage activities, including a board game tournament. That’s where fans are going to want to bust out these custom Magic: The Gathering Of The Juggalo cards.

Straight from appropriately named “SawFan666” are three custom cards, featuring two “Legendary Juggalos,” and a “BBQ Beef Faygo” enchantment.

According to SawFan666, who communicates in all-caps for obvious reasons, these cards aren’t for actual play:

I HAVE BEEN GETING ALOT OF COMPLAINTS ABOT THESE CARDS NOT BEIN GOOD ENOGH 2 ACTUALY USE IN AGAME OF MAGIC HEY LITEN UP NERDS THESE ARNT MENT 2 B PLAYED WITH THEY R A FUNNY ART JOKE!!! MAKES A GREAT GIFT 4 THE LOS AND LETTES IN YR LIVES

Whether or not you want to gift these to the motherfucking ninjas in your life, or hold onto them and raise hell at the Gathering board game tent is up to you. But you should act fast, as the 2015 Gathering Of The Juggalos is July 22-25.

…Or you could just buy SawFan66’s “Flavortown Lucky Cat” acrylic painting of a Guy Fieri-faced lucky cat for $80.

 
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