Yesterday the Internet was aflame with news that artful dodger Lindsay Lohan would appear on Thursday’s The Late Show With David Letterman to read the “Top 10” list. Unfortunately that announcement seems to have been premature: “We made a mistake,” Tom Keaney, spokeman for Worldwide Pants Incorporated, said in a statement. “Someone purporting to be a friend of Lindsay's reached out to the show yesterday, allegedly on her behalf, and booked her to appear. Clearly, this person was not authorized to make commitments on her behalf.” (Lohan herself echoed the statement on Twitter, saying, “I am NOT going to be doing David Letterman, I'm not sure how this happened, but I am sorry for the confusion…”) Presumably, Letterman will still go forward with the planned list of, let’s say, the “Top 10 Signs You’ve Been Robbed By Lindsay Lohan” and just have someone else read it, like that Jeopardy robot.
UPDATE: Funny story: The first draft of this article ended with the line, "And this is why you don't make deals with Michael Lohan," but then I decided that was too obvious and changed it. But as it turns out, that's exactly what happened: Lohan's estranged father has pressed his speed-dial button for TMZ to let them know that he's the one who made the offer for her to come on the show, saying he "got the idea after Dave cracked a joke at Lindsay's expense" (you know, that one time), and that Lindsay "knew full well" he had contacted them about doing it, but that things fell apart once her reps found out about it. "Anything positive that I bring into her life… [her people] try to nix it," Lohan said. You know, we're frankly exhausted trying to sort out the various layers of delusion obscuring the inner workings of the Lohan family, so fine, whatever.