Like the probably-doomed romance between an irreverent punk and a parent-pleasing good girl, Paramount and MGM are pushing heedlessly ahead with their previously issued threats to turn 1983’s Valley Girl into a big-screen jukebox musical—one that would do for the early New Wave scene what Rock Of Ages did for hair metal (and what our own work-in-progress 3 Feet High And Dancin’! will do for classic hip-hop). Chaperoning this expertly choreographed, thematically evocative dance will be Clay Weiner, the commercials director whose sole feature credit is the YouTube-inspired Fred: The Movie, and who thus knows plenty about instantly disposable trends and irritating modes of speaking.
According to Deadline, Weiner poked his head into the studio and stood firm by his desire to be considered, refusing to shrink from the prospect by whipping out his own three-minute demo reel and unloading it on some thoroughly impressed executives—all of which is very funny, because his name is “Weiner.” And as you may surmise, Weiner’s version of the Reagan-era Romeo And Juliet will feature actors singing popular New Wave tunes from bands like The Cars and The Go-Go's. Meanwhile, the various socio-economic struggles of the day will be evoked in expressive dance-offs between some kids in color-coordinated polo shirts and others with Mohawks—which is pretty much exactly how that all went down, when you really think about it. Of course, all of our preemptive dread about this project could easily be allayed if only Nicolas Cage were allowed to reprise his original role, but that’s probably not going to happen.