Having nearly exhausted the world's supply of famewhores, both celebrity and civilian, VH1 is setting its sights on shamelessness molded in a different form: Gold-diggers. That sound you hear is the scraping of the concrete slab underneath where the bottom of the world's shallowest bucket used to be.
From Reality Wanted.com:
VH1 is looking for women (must be 21 or over) who want to put their gold-digging skills to the test on a fun new reality show!! If there's no shame in YOUR gold-digging game, and you want to compete for prize money as America's best gold-digger in a fabulous LA mansion, contact us right away!!
This casting notice, littered though it is with words and phrases–such as "no shame," fabulous LA mansion," and "fun new reality show!!"–that call out to gold-diggers like a clear, sharp siren's wail, doesn't really give much of an idea of what the chosen gold-diggers should expect on the show. Will they compete to win the affections of the aging residents of a hospice full of terminally-ill octagenarian millionaires? Will they be let loose inside a nursing home to collect as many last will and testaments as possible? Will their success be measured in number of wallets collected and joint lines of credit opened? We won't know until the show airs.
Still, it deserves a title. "Untitled VH1 Project" just isn't sleazy enough. Here are a few suggestions:
$hame Patrol
Solid Gold Rock Of Love
Where My Jewels At?
Luv 4 $ale
Baby, I Got Your Money
F**k You? Pay Me.
Flava Of Empty Affection
Eyez On The Prize (Which Is Your Money)
The Millionaire Matchmaker
I "Love" You, Give Me Some Diamonds