The list of upcoming biblical projects has become a lineage as lengthy and confusing as Exodus, as Noah begat Ben-Hur begat Exodus: Gods And Kings; The Bible begat Son Of God begat A.D.: Beyond The Bible begat scores of other Jesus projects; Fox News begat God’s Not Dead begat Heaven Is Real begat work for ’90s TV stars; Kirk Cameron begat Nicolas Cage begat even smugger Kirk Cameron; and the built-in faith-driven audience begat the ability to mine profits from Christianity not seen since every day that Christianity has existed. And now all that begetting has begat not one, but two competing projects about David, the lovable, slingshot-slinging rapscallion who rode those Bart Simpson charms all the way to being King of Israel.
Variety reports that Warner Bros. has picked up the rights to David: The Divided Heart by Rabbi David Wolpe, a book reportedly personally sent to every member of Wolpe’s Sinai Temple by bible movie veteran Kirk Douglas. The endorsement of Douglas, as well as that of God, convinced the studio that David’s life as “a warrior, a prodigy, a poet, a king who united the nation and a man close to God who sins” was one deserving of a new movie.
But, as God is a major player in Hollywood these days, He also spoke to Ridley Scott, who’s prepping his own competing movie following David in the wake of his battle with Goliath. God also currently has development deals with Wolfgang Petersen and Entertainment One to make two competing David-themed TV projects. And lo, the Lord’s face moved across multiple platforms, and a voice spoke, saying, “Keep thy franchise options open.”
With so many competing David projects, it’s tempting to compare them to a certain famous duel between ill-matched opponents, though it’s difficult to say which of these has the Goliath-like advantage. That is until Warner Bros. inevitably announces that it’s planning King David as part of a bible-themed, Marvel-style universe—which is to say, the universe.