Warner Bros. delays its Jungle Book movie, replaces it with Geostorm

Warner Bros.’ Jungle Book: Origins is slinking its way back to 2017, having apparently been cowed out of its Oct. 16, 2016 release date by a rival predator. In this case, said beast is Disney, which is planning to release its own live-action adaptation of Rudyard Kipling’s classic stories in October of 2015. (Man’s Law states that Kipling’s story collection has been in the public domain since 1966, and thus open to adaptation by anybody with a mo-cap suit, some green walls, and a spare CGI tiger.) Apparently a single year of distance between the two projects wasn’t enough space for Warner Bros., which has moved its Andy Serkis-directed film to October 6, 2017, in deference to the more powerful beast. The move is a clear reflection of the Law of the Jungle, which states that casting Bill Murray is always the ultimate sign of filmmaker dominance.

In its place, Warner Bros. is giving Jungle Book’s slot to Gerard Butler’s climate-control-gone-amok thriller Geostorm, the story of one scientist’s effort to punch the weather in the face while also stopping his insane brother from assassinating the president. After reading that synopsis, you may not be entirely surprised to learn that Geostorm is written, produced, and directed by Dean “Independence Day” Devlin, once Hollywood’s premier collector of tiny, exploding White Houses. The studio is presumably hoping that all of the lightning and rogue weather control satellites in Geostorm will help it to summon the deadly Red Floweralso known as fireman’s only true defense against deadly jungle predators and better-positioned rival films.

 
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