Warner Bros. says that Charlie Sheen is never returning to Two And Half Men, obviously

Earlier this week, Charlie Sheen made the uncharacteristically bold assertion that he had been in “discussions” with CBS and Warner Bros. regarding a return to Two And A Half Men, which Sheen has been doggedly pursuing for the last several months by talking publicly about how much he fucking hates it and everyone involved with it. Not surprisingly, an attorney for Warner Bros. has issued a swift rejoinder, saying, “Those statements are false.  As you know, there have been no discussions, there are no discussions, and there will be no discussions, regarding his returning to or having any involvement with the series.” We eagerly anticipate Sheen’s response saying that both he and the producers knew that his return to the show was such a done deal, they didn’t even have to talk about it.