Warner Bros. shuts down its Dumb And Dumber sequel project after monitoring millions of citizens' Dumb And Dumber references 

Presumably after being revealed to have helped the NSA track and monitor millions of Americans typing “So you’re telling me there’s a chance?” into the Internet, thus creating a “reference pattern” that can identify potential sleeper cells of hilarious people, Warner Bros. has quickly moved to shut down its Dumb And Dumber To program. The initiative undertaken in 2011—ostensibly to protect the nation from the threat of more serious Jim Carrey movies in the wake of The Number 23 (Never Forget)—has since been the subject of numerous misinformation campaigns involving Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels’ participation. This created a confusing timeline that it now seems was intended all along to lure the nation into sharing their most personal Dumb And Dumber quotes.

With the whistle blown, Warner Bros. has officially severed all ties with the project, leaving directors Bobby and Peter Farrelly to shop it to other studios and financiers in the private sector, hypothetically as some sort of independent surveillance system. “The price of peace is eternal vigilance,” their pitch will go, “and how can we sleep soundly without knowing exactly who’s got a ‘Check out the funbags on that hosehound’ bomb ready to drop at any moment?”