The Second City Network reminded the world yesterday that Stephen Colbert has always been the man we know and love, even if he wasn’t in love at the time.
In a May 1994 video from his last night at Second City, Colbert sings a duet with Jenna Jolovitz that is pretty true to Colbert fashion. The performance, which can represent the trial period of a new fling or the fizzling of a long-term relationship, chronicles the aftermath of an “okay, wasn’t awful” date. From arguing about the material of a swing, to rating each other a “solid” five out of 10, the skit is full of frank lyrics that make the audience laugh.
The tune is outlined with variations of the chorus, “If I loved you I’d sing you a love song, if I loved you I’d give you the moon / If I loved you I’d sing you a love song, but I don’t,” though the lines in between are just as cheeky. “When I close my eyes, I can’t describe your face / If you committed a crime, I couldn’t pick you out in a lineup,” Colbert and Jolovitz sing in unison. “Oh well, I want to kiss someone / Hey, do you have a friend?”