Ways to be more like a Performer at the Grammys

Twenty-seven acts, a whole choir, and four cartoon characters are going to be performing at tonight's Grammys, which apparently is some kind of record.

Here are a few easy ways to be more like them: 1. Use Mariahisms

What's a Mariahism? They're unique words and phrases that Mariah Carey coined all by herself, and which she uses freely in her everyday life. She therefore owns them. Words like:
"Okaaaaaay," (used with sarcasam when Mariah is unsure of the situation. In other words, "you do what you want, but whatever"), and "Complete And Total Joke," (which is a variation of "Complete Joke" and "Complete Mess").

Here's a handy guide, straight from the

source herself. A few Mariahisms not included on that page are "Hi" (word that Mariah uses when greeting people), as well as "And" (a connective word that Mariah uses when listing things. For example: "I need my votive candles, soothing incense, AND chilled Cristal in my dressing room now!"). 2. Pierce your nipple, then never shut up about it
Also, keep showing it off. Kind of like Christina Aguilera. If you're not into piercings, you can fake it.

Ebay can help. 3. Attach yourself to anything British
Like Madonna, who has a British husband, a weird Britain-via-Detroit accent, a collaboration with a British cartoon band, and who likes to vacation in parts of the former British empire. 4. Pretend that you were influenced by Sly and the Family Stone
That way, maybe you too can perform in the Sly and the Family Stone tribute tonight. It worked for Joss Stone, John Legend, and Maroon 5…

Any others?