We all have to come to terms with the raw sexual power of Fifty Shades Of DeVito

It’s a real shame that so few film or TV projects have willingly tapped into the sheer erotic force of Danny DeVito. One of America’s most prolific and beloved actors, there’s no denying that there’s a sensuality to DeVito’s performances that is often sadly ignored. But no more: A new Funny Or Die video, playing on the upcoming release of Fifty Shades Freed, has forced us all to come to terms with Mr. DeVito and his singular tastes.

If nothing else, we have to give it to the video’s creators for their restraint in holding off on deploying one of their subject’s all-time great physical performances—i.e., that time he slid, naked and sweaty, out of a couch on It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia—until the last possible moment of carefully edited flirting between him and Dakota Johnson. We also appreciate (?) the way the video treats us to a veritable buffer of DeVito’s various cinematic love noises, the better to truly reimagine him as the latest, truest incarnation of uninhibited, spank-happy alpha male Christian Grey.