We hereby decree that Trump is a horrible speller

Whoever was in charge of keeping the commander-in-chief away from his phone this afternoon has failed, resulting in the latest string of embarrassing statements from the person who occupies the formerly most powerful position in the world. As more information is revealed about Attorney General “Wee Bigot” Sessions’ meetings with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak, President Trump seems to be nervously trying to urge the press to look elsewhere. Fortunately for us all, the press is not a child that can be distracted by something shiny. The same can not be said for our president, who is citing public meetings between Russian officials and Senator Chuck Schumer, as well as with House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi, as possible indicators of corruption as calls increase for an investigation of possible ties between his own campaign and Russian officials.

Trump was so hopped up about this that he, per usual, posted in social media this afternoon without proofing his message correctly. He also appears to be under the delusion that, as president, his use of the word “hereby” has some legal weight to it (it doesn’t), as if someone was reading his statement off of a paper scroll from the balcony of a Disney cartoon. As he should realize by now, the internet is forever, so we can trace his now-deleted but desperate battle to arrive at the correct spelling of this word he believes is so important:

You’ll notice that the president took a break from the strenuous activity of sending out the same simple message three times to tweet about the need to improve our educational system. In his case, that message, at least, is certainly true.

 
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