Here’s what’s up in the world of TV for Wednesday, Dec. 14. All times are Eastern.
TOP PICK
Work Of Art (Bravo, 9 p.m.): We’re just not as into this show since The Sucklord had to go, mostly because we liked having someone named “The Sucklord” on our television sets every week. (Maybe he could join the cast of Glee?) Anyway, we’re making this the top pick because if you’re not reading John Teti’s excellent, super-snarky reviews of this show, you’re not really living. You don’t even have to watch. We promise. You can just click on the link and enjoy the jokes.
REGULAR COVERAGE
Survivor (CBS, 8 p.m.): With the finale airing this Sunday, we’re getting down to the wire with this thing, and Carrie Raisler is having to confront the somewhat disquieting proposition that Coach might actually win this thing. Coach!
The X Factor (Fox, 8 p.m.): It’s the final four, and isn’t that when the show ends? Let’s check TV Guide. Nope. It’s on next week, too. Emily Yoshida has another week to allow her simmering anger at Nicole Scherzinger to continue to fester and bleed.
American Horror Story (FX, 10 p.m.): Vivien gives birth tonight, and Todd VanDerWerff is expecting the pitter patter of little cloven hooves. After all, if a secret envelope in a box only the Pope has access to predicted it, it must be true.
Psych (USA, 10 p.m.): Midseason finale! Shawn and Gus get away in an episode called “Neil Simon’s Lover’s Retreat,” which sounds wacky as balls. Kevin McFarland is hoping for a lot of obscure Lost In Yonkers references. He loves that play!
Top Chef (Bravo, 10 p.m.): Tonight’s episode features tequila and hunting, so it sure seems like the producers are piling on the, “Hey, we’re in Texas!” business until they’re worn out. Next thing you know, everyone will have to rope a longhorn steer.
TV CLUB CLASSIC
Survivor (Classic) (11 a.m.): Meredith Blake observes the very first tribal “merger,” and we remember a time when that still seemed like a weird concept that might ruin the show. Ah, the year 2000. We were all so young then. Except for you.
The Sopranos (1 p.m.): Todd VanDerWerff covers his favorite episode of the show ever, “Long Term Parking.” We expect his recap will be at least 7,000 words long and will contain the entire text of the book of Philemon from the New Testament.
TV CLUB ADVENT CALENDAR
Extras: The Extra Special Series Finale (Tuesday): There’s not a ton of traditional Christmas sentiment in this Extras Christmas special, but Steve Heisler reveals how Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant found a way to sneak in sentiment anyway.
WHAT ELSE IS ON?
Live From Lincoln Center (PBS, 8 p.m.): Hooray for The Nutcracker! Actually, we don’t really know a lot about this. Isn’t it about a nutcracker that comes to live and helps protect a little girl by fighting mice, and then they get married? Weird.
Hot & Spicy Paradise (Travel, 9 p.m.): It becomes harder and harder to find new episodes of things during this time of the year, so here’s something with a show title we enjoy, even if we have no idea what it’s about. Something hot, presumably.
Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Most Fascinating People of 2011 (ABC, 9:30 p.m.): This should probably be known as Barbara Walters Presents: The 10 Fascinating People She Could Get Interviews With In Late 2011.
24/7 Rangers/Flyers: Road To The Winter Classic (HBO, 10 p.m.): Myles McNutt has been missing his old Canadian stomping grounds, so he’ll be dropping in on the season premiere of this HBO hockey reality series.
Fear And Desire (TCM, 8 p.m.): Sometimes, we just recommend movies here for no real reason, but here’s one you definitely need to catch. It’s a long-thought-lost film directed by Stanley Kubrick, now being screened on television for the first time ever.
Finding Nemo (ABC Family, 8:30 p.m.): We’re not entirely sure how this all fits in with ABC Family’s whole “25 Days Of Christmas” thing (which they totally ripped off from the TV Club Advent Calendar), but we like to sing “Just keep swimming.”
Heisman Trophy Presentation (ESPNU, 8 p.m.): We’re waiting for the day that someone wins the Heisman, then goes on to a successful career as a multi-hyphenate entertainer, so we can get our very first HEGOT.
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Glee (Tuesday): You all know Todd VanDerWerff grades Christmas episodes of shows on a very generous curve because he is an old softy, so this one must have been very bad if he gave it an F and said it made him want to strangle kittens.