Weekend Box Office: America spends worst weekend of the year thinking about Obama
It was the lowest-performing weekend of the entire year so far, in what can only be read as a sobering commentary on our current economic crisis—a crisis that spurred the surprise success of 2016 Obama's America, the documentary that exposes how Obama is intent on sacrificing the United States to Muslim extremists, using unimpeachable documentary proof by talking to people who say stuff like that, and then playing ominous music. The film landed at No. 8, beating out Ben Stein's Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed to become the highest-grossing conservative documentary of all time, and representing a clear mandate from the masses. Sure, some may argue that it was just the traditional late-August dumping ground for weak new releases that made it easy for 2016 to crawl up the charts with only a $6.2 million take. But those whose eyes are open recognize a more logical explanation, as set forth in the film: America has had it up to here with Obama governing on behalf of the ghost of his Kenyan dad.
That longing for a return to traditional, anti-terrorist, non-ghost-dad values can also be seen in the holdover of The Expendables 2 at No. 1, what with its comforting Reagan-era superstars and blowing-up-foreigners politics. And it can even be reflected in the victims of circumstance seen in Premium Rush and Hit And Run, where Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Dax Shepard put themselves at constant risk all for the sake of gainful employment in this terrible job market, only to find themselves pursued by various crooks—clearly, metaphors for the government making it impossible for a man to earn an honest living.
And while Premium Rush ($6.3 million) and Hit And Run ($4.7 million) both opened softly at sixth and tenth place, respectively, it only demonstrates how little Americans want to be reminded of the never-ending chase scenes that are their own lives, even if Kristen Bell occasionally shows up in her underwear. Ditto The Apparition, whose abysmal twelfth-place opening and $3.6 million take can surely be attributed to its unwanted reminder of the current horrors of home ownership in Obama's America. Of course, it may also be that—like so many of its competitors this weekend—it's simply middling or even borderline awful. But can't the low budgets and depreciated quality of these movies also be blamed on Obama, if you really think about it and maybe make an animated graph?
For more detailed numbers, visit Box Office Mojo.