Dear Readers,
Welcome to The Hater's first Live-Blog! Technically, this is supposed to be a live-blog of the Oscars and any Oscars-related show (including the pre-show, the pre-pre show, and anything involving Guiliana DePandi or Barbara Walters). But since I've never live-blogged before, I thought I'd practice by live-blogging the last 10 minutes of a show that is just as dramatic as The Oscars, but that has absolutely nothing at stake: Lifetime Movie Network's In A Stranger's Hand. 5:40pm: Evidently something bad happened to a man named Peter Harmon in this movie. How do I know? Because Robert Urich, while wearing glasses the size of Montana, is feverishly researching a man named Peter Harmon on his green-screened computer. 5:43pm: Robert Urich was just attacked! Also, he was almost just hit by a car while running away from his attacker! Shit! And now he's in a subway! And now he's crouching on an escalator! Don't you wish you could go back in time and watch this movie on cable?! 5:47pm: Oh my God! Peter Harmon is the bad guy! Know how I know? Music. And the fact that he's wearing gloves that were clearly meant for strangling Robert Urich. Also, he just got really huffy with someone while using a pay phone. 5:50pm: Jesus. This is easily the longest chase/escape sequence in Lifetime Movie Channel history. I wish I knew the context of it. But I guess that's what happens when you tune into LMN at 5:40 on a Sunday to practice live-blogging. 5:52pm: Robert Urich, moving stealthily, is now in a house. I'm sure this house would have significance to someone who saw the beginning of this movie. 5:54pm: Urich just pushed a rocking horse, which really speaks volumes about his character. He doesn't care whose toes he steps on! 5:55pm: There are two things of note in this house: A little girl, and a fancy telephone. 5:56pm: Now there's a commercial talking about saving money on prescriptions, so I've lost interest. I'm tuning into the Oscars pre-show on E! Practice completed!