We'll keep this short and sweet: NME has picked up on new tabloid reports that loveable ol' Pete Wentz of Fall Out Boy is going to be a father. And a husband. His co-conspirator? Ashlee Simpson. (Okay, we're just gonna duck behind this plexiglass barricade over here real quick.)
In his defense, here's Wentz talking about his commitment to "global humanity" and how he doesn't really need toilet paper:
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