Or Wes Craven Presents: Some Film I Got Paid To Endorse. In fact, Craven's name doesn't appear anywhere in the credits of the film otherwise known as They. That's fitting, too, since even the worst Craven-directed movies have a lot more going for them than this painfully familiar bit of oogum-boogum. Just what are They? Apparently They are creatures who frighten young children, who then grow up to be nubile grad students like Laura Regan. Also, They can't stand the light, a convenient detail for a film that obviously can only afford to have its monsters on screen for fractions of a second at a time. (When They do appear, They look like crosses between rats and naked lawn gnomes.) After her childhood friend and fellow They victim Ethan Embry commits suicide out of fear that They will make a return appearance, Regan is compelled to reckon with her past. Boyfriend Marc Blucas, apparently forgetting the lessons he learned during a season and a half as Riley on Buffy The Vampire Slayer, remains unhelpfully skeptical, forcing Regan to turn to other They persecutees for whatever comfort and support they can offer before getting offed. Many scenes of characters making tense phone calls, then meeting each other in dimly lit locations, help They fill out its running time, as it slouches from one attempted jolt to another, even stooping to the old something-just-popped-up-in-the-corner-of-the-frame trick for its scares. Through it all, Regan looks more flustered than frightened, and who can blame her? One day she's setting up a time to defend her thesis, the next she finds tiny, fanged creatures living behind her bathroom mirror. Among their other faults, They seem to have no respect for privacy.