Captivity, a horror movie that is limping in Hostel's gut-filled "torture porn" footsteps by abducting, confining, torturing, and terminating Elisha Cuthbert, is coming to theaters soon. To celebrate, one of the film's producers, some guy named Courteney Solomon (pictured below with his fave bloody baby doll), is throwing a party.
Based on a
recent interview in the NY Times, here's what that party is going to be like:
1. Politically incorrect. But, like, really politically incorrect. You've heard of the Suicide Girls right? It's going to be that kind of politically incorrect. Yep: goth girls with tattoos who are paid to be there. It doesn't get more politically incorrect than that without Bill Maher.
Having already provoked parents, women's groups and the ratings board with explicit ads for the coming torture movie "Captivity," Mr. Solomon and his After Dark Films now intend to introduce the film, set for release July 13, with a party that may set a new standard for the politically incorrect.
For starters, Mr. Solomon has ordered up what he calls the three "most outlandish" SuicideGirls available from the punk porn service, even if they're as frisky as the ones he is told once set a Portland, Ore., restaurant on fire. Some lucky fans will get to take the women as dates for party night, July 10, on two conditions: "People take the date at their own risk, and everybody on the Internet gets to watch."
2. The kind of party where a bloody fight could break out at any minute. Or, you know, the kind of party where a highly choreographed fight will be scheduled to occur every so often in a cage that was specially built for the occasion:
Cage fighting too is likely. Mr. Solomon's planners are angling for Kimbo Slice, the bare-knuckle bruiser whose vicious backyard brawls are a Web favorite and who made his Mixed Martial Arts debut on Saturday.
3. A super-scary party where you could be taken prisoner at any minute by roving bands of torturers–kind of like the charity haunted house in your local elementary school's gym that really terrified you when you were 10, except this is a movie premiere party at an awful Hollywood club:
But the warren of live torture rooms is a must. As Mr. Solomon envisions it, individuals in torture gear will wander through the West Hollywood club Privilege grabbing partygoers.
4. A party for self-proclaimed "bad boys" that is so "nasty" Janet Jackson might have to write a new song about it just to capture the incredible nastiness. Oh, also bloggers are invited.
"If 'Captivity' is what it is, and we're the bad boys, then 'Captivity' deserves a bad-boy party," he said. "It deserves a nasty party."
The primary audience, he said, will be fans, who can cycle through the club free in groups of 50, along with an expected army of Web-based video bloggers – the real opinion-makers when it comes to horror – who will start getting their invitations this week.
5. The sort of soiree that culminates in an act so heinous, so illegal, Solomon won't even say what it is:
All of which is a prelude to an undisclosed main event that, he warned last week over slices of pizza a few doors from his company's new offices on the Sunset Strip, is "probably not legal."
"The women's groups definitely will love it," Mr. Solomon hinted. "I call it my personal little tribute to them."
I bet someone gets on stage, raises their knife, and cuts the tag off an unpurchased mattress. That's still illegal, right?