What We Do In The Shadows recap: Chaos reigns as the vamps take over the "Local News"

Controlled chaos is typically the order of the day for What We Do In The Shadows, a show that never met an undead panic attack it couldn’t enhance by lobbing in a few more loudly shouted bad ideas. Tonight’s installment, “Local News,” pushes that ethos to the brink, occasionally stripping the “controlled” right off the damn thing as the vamps—sans Guillermo—take a minor blunder and escalate it into an ordeal of, as Laszlo would put it, “blood, sweat, and teeaaars.”

The inciting incident: Nandor “De Laurentiis” finding himself on the local news, where, in his delight at being on TV to talk about a broken water main, he can’t stop remarking on how it’s the worst flooding he’s seen since 1892 (“That was a big boy!”), or just straight up saying that he and his roommates have been around for “many centuries.” Consummate professional that she is, WYXK 8's Joanna Roscoe barely blinks at this oddball local’s weirdo pronouncements. But Nandor quickly realizes his mistake, fleeing the scene with a triumphant battlecry: “Oh shitty shit, I’ve fucked it!”

Back at the residence, his panic is almost instantly infectious, as the rest of the vamps go instantly to fight (Colin Robinson), flight (Nadja), or scheme (Laszlo), convinced they’re only seconds from an encounter with pitchfork-bearing mobs. Put under pressure, each of our undead heroes tears off in their own direction—which is ultimately one of the weaknesses of “Local News,” an episode where each major character is pretty much playing their own comedic game, independent of everybody else, for most of its first two-thirds. It’s not until Nandor rallies the troops and convinces them to put up a united front (stupid, but united) that the episode really gels, producing one of those bizarre, gory, and hilarious setpieces for which this series is known.

But we’ll get to what is, almost certainly, the most disastrous Puppy Parade-based news broadcast in Staten Island local TV history in a minute, because we’ve yet to touch on the other half of “Local News,” and the bit closer to the episode’s heart: Guillermo’s attempts to say goodbye to his human/vampire hunter side, as his transformation into a vampire (very slowly) continues. Tonight’s B-plot is shot through with reminders that Guillermo is, in his own ways, nearly as selfish as the vampires who’ve wound up bizarrely in his charge: For instance, he’s so fixated on the dramatics of his own story that he’s forgotten it’s his mom’s birthday. The upshot of all this is a reprise of last season’s De La Cruz family reunion “Pine Barrens” (minus that episode’s explosive climax), as Gizmo’s people berate him, only half unfairly, for his divided attention in the face of his mom’s unending love and support.

There’s something genuinely poignant in the image of Guillermo letting his mom put a skin-searing crucifix around his neck—even if the punchline of this whole sequence is the reveal that he’s been performing this dramatic exit on a weekly basis, ever since Derek bit him. On a macro scale, it all highlights the themes of the season, as Guillermo is torn between worlds—especially as the vampires (sort of) prove they don’t actually need him around to fix all their messes, since, y’know, they live in a cartoon world where rampant mass hypnosis exists.

And sure. The successful resolution of tonight’s “vampires on the news” plotline is as messy and lethal as What We Do In The Shadows has gotten in a minute, with Nandor, Nadja, Laszlo, Colin Robinson, and The Guide launching a full-on assault, first on a couple of news vans, and then on the studio itself. But the actual broadcast is a resounding success, complete with weather (Colin Robinson) and sports, courtesy of a smooth-voiced Laszlo, bantering with Nandor about their beloved “New York Football Giants.” The group even restrains themselves to a single on-screen corpse—with the sudden cut to The Guide snacking down on poor meteorologist Heather DuPont being the finest of several good visual gags tonight. (Others include the sight of Nandor and Laszlo slowly stalking up behind Joanna Roscoe, kidnapping bag in hand, and the reveal that Nadja has dyed the Doll’s hair blonde to match her own about-to-be-on-the-run locks.) The broadcast is a major highlight of the episode and maybe of the season. It’s just a shame it took such a fractured adventure to get to it.

Stray observations

• It mostly stays in the background, but Colin’s militantly violent response to the Joanna Roscoe threat is a delight throughout the episode. Love the near-casual way he tips over the grandfather clock after the first bout of yelling winds down, through his near-constant trap-planting, and culminating in his overly cheerful weather report. Low-key great episode for Mark Proksch.
• “These guys are still doing that documentary about losers who work at the railroad, huh?”
• “It’s not a big deal, as long they answer the fucking phone.” What We Do In The Shadows uses its licenses to drop F-bombs better than plenty of HBO prestige dramas—especially when they’re coming out of Harvey Guillén’s mouth.
• Also in the list of great sight gags: Nadja’s face imposed over Jean-Léon Gérôme’s “Truth Coming Out Of Her Well”
• “You need to cut that shit off cold turkey…just like I did with the Sierra Mist, huh, ma?” Frankie Quiñones is great in his return as Guillermo’s cousin, Miguel.
• Laszlo lays it all out: “The whole world knows that vampires are real, and we are they.”