If fashion is a form of communication, and I'm saying that it is, then wearing a topical celebrity joke T-shirt in public is the equivalent of reading an old issue of In Touch aloud in a high-pitched scream through a chain of 10 megaphones, all turned up to their maximum volume.
Basically, it is a horrible, horrible thing to do. Just look at this T-shirt:
You can practically hear the shrieking.
But even though topical celebrity joke t-shirts are the lowest, most annoying form of fashion communication, they can also be a useful tool–especially when it comes to figuring out who in a crowd of strangers has a horrible sense of humor. Engaging in conversation in these situations is unnecessary. If someone is wearing a "Free Paris" T-shirt, that person is not funny, and should be avoided at all costs.
With the
recent jubilant announcement of Paris Hilton's impending incarceration, the purveyors of celebrity joke t-shirts have been given a new muse. Below are a few of their creations, along with their not-so-hidden messages.
1. "Paris Has A New Cell" T-Shirt
What You Think Wearing This T-Shirt Says: I support Paris Hilton's jail sentence. Also, I enjoy clever word play about Paris Hilton's lifestyle/ jail sentence. What Wearing This T-Shirt Actually Says: I am the Henny Youngman for a new, completely unfunny generation.
2. "Liberate Paris" T-Shirt
What You Think Wearing This T-Shirt Says: I have a humorous opinion on Paris Hilton's jail sentence! What Wearing This T-Shirt Actually Says: I bought a jokey Paris Hilton T-shirt transfer on eBay and then ironed it onto a blank t-shirt. That's how invested I was in making my hilarious Paris Hilton opinions known.
3. "Free Paris" T-Shirt
What You Think Wearing This T-Shirt Says: I understand irony and it is hi-larious! Or, I support Paris Hilton for some reason and I want everyone to know that! What Wearing This T-Shirt Actually Says: I am completely insufferable. Also, I might be a big fan of "Stars Are Blind." Ironically, of course.
4. "Don't Free Paris" T-Shirt
What You Think Wearing This T-Shirt Says: I'm making a comment about all those "Free Paris" T-shirts, ok? I don't really care about Paris Hilton. Look, you probably don't get what I'm going for with this anyway. What Wearing This T-Shirt Actually Says: My "Ski Iraq" t-shirt was dirty. Like, really dirty. Like too disgusting for even me to wear.