Wicked toys suggest youngsters take the yellow brick road to a porn site

It’s the dream of horny adolescents everywhere. What if, for just a few brief moments, porn was available to them. Not just any porn, but unexpected porn. The kind of porn that beams in direct from The Spice Channel and unscrambles during an episode of Dexter’s Laboratory; the kind one finds in the woods of New Jersey, weathered from overuse and also, maybe, the elements but mostly overuse. Those approaching puberty strive to be porno Magellans instilled with a belief in the impossible, where an unthinking, unfeeling, and uncaring universe delivers naked men and women unto those who are without. To that end, Mattel fucked up the boxes to its Wicked toys and printed the web address of a porno studio by mistake.

Per Variety, the film’s website, “WickedMovie.com,” does not appear on boxes of toys bearing the likenesses of Elphaba, Boq Woodsman, and the rest of the extended Wizard Of Oziverse. Instead, a misprint reading “wicked.com,” the address of the California-based adult entertainment studio Wicked, graces the packaging of toys for the upcoming Wizard Of Oz prequel.

Thankfully, Wicked’s offerings of porn parodies are basically child friendly. That’s not to say the studio produces the types of step-family-friendly narratives that are a cornerstone of today’s porno. Nor does it mean they shy away from hardcore sex and nudity. Nevertheless, Wicked focuses on narratives younger viewers would undoubtedly be familiar with, including Black Widow XXX, Captain Marvel XXX, and the maximum effort title SpideyPool XXX. There are even some Disney-adjacent porn parodies, including the AVN-winning Cinderella XXX and  Snow White XXX. Indeed, Wicked XXX would fit in nicely.

In a statement to People, Mattel apologized for the misprint:

“Mattel was made aware of a misprint on the packaging of the Mattel Wicked collection dolls, primarily sold in the U.S., which intended to direct consumers to the official WickedMovie.com landing page. We deeply regret this unfortunate error and are taking immediate action to remedy this. Parents are advised that the misprinted, incorrect website is not appropriate for children. Consumers who already have the product are advised to discard the product packaging or obscure the link and may contact Mattel Customer Service for further information.”

Reporting the misprint will likely have unforeseen repercussions, especially as purchasers destroy the evidence, such as an increase in the value of Wicked figurines bearing the name of the AVN Award-winning studio. We also anticipate an increase in children encouraging their friends to use the school computer to go to “wicked.com” instead of the old stalwart, “whitehouse.com,” which could prove disastrous for the latter’s web traffic.