Territorial turkey terrorizes trespassing trail-walkers

While it’s usually Wild Turkey that makes humans belligerent, HuffPost has reported that a “belligerent wild turkey” is now on the attack in Washington, D.C. For more than a week now, one big angry bird has embarked upon an intimidation campaign, bullying, biting, and kicking at people walking or biking along a previously peaceful trail.

A male turkey—a “tom” to turkey experts—has announced its presence to D.C. by haunting the Anacostia Riverwalk Trail, launching itself at people out for a stroll or bike ride. The bird, perhaps driven mad by having learned the extent to which Americans desecrate its species’ carcasses, has “chased, slammed into, clawed, and pecked” at enough passersby that the local parks and recreation department has put up signs warning not to approach it.

Unfortunately, written warnings alone are incapable of stopping the turkey’s reign of terror. Local musician DeDe Folarin, for instance, says the bird “jumped in the air and he almost clawed my face” when he biked by it last month. “He kind of knocked me off the bike and literally chased me around for like five minutes.”

Soon afterwards, Folarin saw the relentless turkey go after another biker and captured footage of the encounter. We can hear him breathing heavily, yelling at the bird, and stating the facts of the situation—”Goddamned wild turkey, man”—before the video ends and he ran over to help chase the attacker off the trail with a stick.

The HuffPost article explains that male turkeys “fiercely guard their territories and may also be protecting nests in the spring,” which leads them to aggressive behavior that can result in them “[scratching] and [bruising] people, and [puncturing] skin with their beaks and claws.” A Fox 5 segment from last week quotes a biologist who says this turkey in particular is more aggressive than usual, maybe because it’s used to humans.

Authorities have been working to catch the bird and move it someplace else because of this. A local park guide has said, though, that the turkey “sometimes high-tails it across the Maryland state line, and takes flight when he sees nets,” just like an avian bank robber fleeing police.

While this may complicate matters, the wildlife department must persevere. If the capital falls, gripped by the iron talons of a furious wild turkey, what hope does the rest of the country have when the birds come for them, too?

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