Dancing With The Stars—the dance marathon that has rewarded so many who trod the threadbare boards of the ABC ballroom with raffle tickets for continued fame, and maybe a nice, partially chipped dinette set—has rounded up its latest cast of celebrity hopefuls. This year’s 18th season will allow you to pause and take in that improbable passage of time by watching your youth take a final spin, in the form of The Wonder Years’ Danica McKellar and Full House’s Candace Cameron Bure. And as the erstwhile Winnie Cooper and DJ Tanner tango their way toward your advancing mortality, you will be reminded with their fleeting movements that each day is an ephemeral gift.
Also inspiring, albeit in different ways, will be double-amputee Paralympian snowboarder Amy Purdy (having a “motivational athlete”-off with 64-year-old swimmer Diana Nyad) and Billy Dee Williams, who—were we on the judges’ panel—would definitely inspire a million bitchy Lando Calrissian references. For example: “This duet is getting worse all the time!” Or “You may come from Cloud City, but that dance was Clod City!” And so on. We would have fun with it.
Other contestants include Drew Carey, Nene Leakes, and a random assortment of vowels and consonants that ostensibly forms the names of other celebrities when read in order.