It doesn't happen often, but every once and a while an artifact will surface from the pop culture void that completely captures the essence of a celebrity: this interview with Jared Leto, for example, or any photo of Matthew McConaughey that involves bongos, the beach, a doo-rag, or some combination of the three.
Well, today a music video has surfaced that is basically Tony Parker distilled. If you've ever wondered what it's like to inhabit the skin of a French basketball player/ hip-hop aficionado who is engaged to the most annoyingly visible cast member of Desperate Housewives, now that knowledge is just one click away. A warning: Evidently, it's a lot like having a seizure in the worst club in the world after dancing with a small French boy in a black light playground.
[youtube:3-12GdBEY9A]
The last time Tony Parker rapped, I blamed it on Eva Longoria. But not even constant exposure to all the chemicals in all the make-up and hair care products that Longoria has ever used could produce the level of dementia required to make a person think baby talk, French rap, and bad techno is an acceptable combination.