10 You're The Worst episodes that nail the messiness of relationships

With TV Club 10, we point you toward the 10 episodes that best represent a TV series, classic or modern. They might not be the 10 best episodes, but they’re the 10 episodes that’ll help you understand what the show’s all about.

“I’m gonna leave you anyway” is the perfect entry into You’re The Worst, a TV show about two grade-A bolters ready to flee from anything good at the first sign of trouble. As Gretchen Cutler (Aya Cash) often says to Jimmy Shive-Overly (Chris Geere), she’s always got half a foot out the door. The lyric, from the Slothrust song “7:30 AM,” which plays over the FX-turned-FXX comedy’s opening credits, introduces these two key players along with their equally screwed-up friends, an unhappily married Lindsay Jillian (Kether Donahue) and Edgar Quintero (Desmin Borges), a vet suffering from PTSD. This group would rather stew in their bleak emotions and perceptions, no matter how hard they try not to, because of, well, life. Which is what makes You’re The Worst so relatable: Seeing these characters’ flaws makes us, in turn, see the parts of ourselves we wish didn’t exist.

The sum of Gretchen and Jimmy’s individual experiences, whether it’s childhood damage, mental health issues, or loneliness, has led them to believe no one truly gets them. And their feelings of internal isolation make them act out externally in destructive ways. (Anything to avoid introspection, right?) Stephen Falk’s series explores this dynamic—rawly, empathetically, and with humor—throughout its five-season run, making it easy to connect with these seemingly toxic humans on a deeper level and actually root for them to evolve. 

You’re The Worst, which premiered on July 17, 2014, features two protagonists who, on the surface, are not great. They’re narcissists unconcerned with anything or anyone else because it’s a better alternative to dealing with issues like proper adults. And then bam: Gretchen and Jimmy bump into each other, which leads to the start of what he later calls “an ugly, uncomfortable, haunting, and brilliant love story.” Disillusioned romance becomes You’re The Worst‘s bitter, beating heart. Through its various other couples—including Lindsay and Paul (Allan McLeod), Becca (Janet Varney) and Vernon (Todd Robert Anderson), and Edgar and Dorothy (Colette Wolf)—the show dissects the ache of candidly opening yourself up to another person. Getting to know your partner can be a nightmare, and YTW knows it. There are no sweet first dates, exceptional flirting, or happily-ever-afters here. 

But there is insight and even a bit of hope. As Jimmy and Gretchen learn, maybe taking a relationship one day at a time is the way to go. Their approach isn’t always successful, of course; luckily for viewers, YTW thrives in depicting their failures and mistakes. To honor the show’s 10-year anniversary, here are 10 episodes that best capture You’re The Worst‘s main message: That relationships are messy, but damn, they’re worth it. (For more insights into this series, don’t forget to revisit Vikram Murthi’s stellar recaps for The A.V. Club.)   

1. “Pilot” (season 1, episode 1)

You’re The Worst opens with a traditional wedding. What better place for two dysfunctional people to meet, right?  It’s remarkable how quickly the pilot establishes that these idiots share sexy chemistry and a fear of commitment, making them feel weirdly perfect together. (They just don’t know it yet.) Looking messy in their formalwear, they cross paths outside Becca and Vernon’s ceremony, ready to talk shit, smoke Jimmy’s expensive cigarettes, and sip champagne from the bottle. It’s straight out of a rom-com, except You’re The Worst‘s lead duo is anti-romance (minus that gushy split-screen phone call scene that closes the episode, of course).

Despite their cynicism, they’re vulnerable without even realizing it. That’s a sign of comfort, something You’re The Worst provides them even in the most uncomfortable situation. Gretchen and Jimmy’s repartee sets the tone for the dialogue—witty, unfiltered, and even damaging—for the next 61 episodes. You’re The Worst wields its honesty for its benefit, giving its central couple a chance to lay bare their weaknesses. “If we both know it can’t work, there’s no harm,” Gretchen admits before they decide to pursue each other on that call. After all, hooking up with a boring Hollywood snob isn’t the same anymore now that Jimmy is here to supportively laugh at her story about how she escaped a math test in school. 

Any TV show’s pilot is a test for whether the puzzle pieces fit together to make something coherent. In this case, there are some problems (it’s good they scrapped the “Fat Lindsay” joke early on), but it’s also a challenge to the audience. Can we fall for two people who are going to be horrible at dating and ship them anyway? (Yes, we can.) 

2. “Keys Open Doors” (season 1, episode 3)

Chris Geere, Aya Cash (Photo Credit: FX)

Birthdays are always a pain. That’s one of You’re The Worst‘s many correct observations. Except the show smartly utilizes Gretchen’s big day and turns it into a milestone moment for her and Jimmy. “Keys Open Doors” nicely intertwines smaller moments like Gretchen asking for a key and Jimmy jealously snooping through her phone. (His first guess for her password is 6969.) Verbal vomiting in front of a new partner, sneaking up on them: It’s all deliciously silly yet weirdly normal. Crucially, though, they come out to their friends as two people who are banging. The road to this revelation is messy and highly entertaining because, by this third episode, You’re The Worst is sure of its tone and even more impressively sure of its supporting characters. Gretchen and Jimmy’s friends play a huge role in the future with these 20 minutes setting up their baseline.

In hindsight, more than the pilot, “Keys Open Doors” acts as a litmus test for whether or not You’re The Worst is the show for you. It introduces a key recurring theme: Couples putting on a façade in public (and often, in private) to feign normalcy. Look at Becca and Vernon or Paul and Lindsay. They pretend to be happily married when, in fact, they’re lying to themselves about what they want out of each other. Both of these relationships unravel as the show goes on (think massive fights, at least one light-stabbing event, and infidelity) before they find their way back. Meanwhile, episode three is an indication that Jimmy and Gretchen will learn to accept the happiness they find together. 

3. “Fists And Feet And Stuff” (season 1, episode 10)

First things first: Kether Donahue’s cover of “This Woman’s Work” has no business being this affecting.  The packed season-one finale neatly continues to slice open Gretchen and Jimmy’s commitment phobias. After two episodes apart, they’ve realized they still want to be with each other. That in itself is a huge deal. For her, it means accepting a non-proposal; it’s her way of being “punk rock,” as she mulls with her BFF. This is a keen insight into her newfound approach to dating. So far, she’s avoided it because why bother if she’s never fully in? But this is the start of a bubbling desire to find a family that she lost (or probably never had growing up because of how strictly she was raised). “Fists And Feet And Stuff” is an excellent showcase for Cash, who processes a host of her character’s feelings: embarrassment, certainty, self-acceptance, confusion, and relief. And then there’s Jimmy. His Hail Mary to keep his girlfriend around is asking her to move in after revealing that the ring she found was for Becca from three years ago. It’s a desperate act, to be sure, because he’s insincere about it. The look on their faces indicates this, too. But both their choices in the finale prove that they’re ready for more.

4. “There Is Not Currently A Problem” (season 2, episode 7)

One could argue that “There Is Not Currently A Problem” is the best episode of the series. Not a lot of shows in their second season can reach comedic and dramatic peaks like You’re The Worst does here. These 20 minutes are emblematic of what YTW does best in terms of addressing a serious topic, filtering it through the lens of how it can affect a relationship, and the importance of radical honesty. And as heavy as it is, let’s not forget the main subplot is Jimmy’s obsession with trapping a mouse.

The episode lands because of how it executes the term “shit got real fast,” unspooling Gretchen’s state of mind as she lashes out at her loved ones in a desperate moment. “There Is Not Currently A Problem” sweeps the rug from under us just as it does from Jimmy, who learns his girlfriend is clinically depressed. This storyline gives a darkly comedic You’re The Worst way more gravity, putting Gretchen’s history into perspective, especially her attachment and avoidance issues. 

The important crux of this installment lies not in Gretchen’s anger or Lindsay’s unwavering support. It comes in the last few minutes, when Gretchen says she hid her depression from Jimmy because she didn’t want him to “fix her.” So, of course, that’s what he sets out to do during their next Halloween-themed Sunday Funday. But the point remains that sometimes in a relationship, being there means actively listening. No advice, no suggestions, no tips for improvements. Sometimes, listening can help unload a burden you don’t even know the other person is carrying. Gretchen feels safe with Jimmy, sure, but she also knows him well. We tend to do this with people we love. We want to resolve their shit instead of allowing them the space to do it themselves.

5. “LCD Soundsystem” (season 2, episode 9)

Oh, good, we’ve reached “LCD Soundsystem.” If any of your friends haven’t watched You’re The Worst yet, this is the episode you should direct them to because it works as a standalone short film, enlivening the show beyond the characters we know and love. The season-two episode digs into the show’s recurring theme of putting up an illusion for the world. Even those who haven’t seen YTW will connect with Gretchen’s aspirations of becoming like her neighbors—and with how said neighbors aren’t flawless. They’re humans. Watching this episode for the first time hit like a gut punch, and fair warning, rewatching it has the same impact.

Gretchen stalks Lexi (Tara Summers) and Rob (Justin Kirk) because of an assumption that their life is perfect. They live in a spacious home with their daughter and have a dog, a treehouse in the backyard, a passionate sex life, and triumphant careers. (He’s a film restorer; she’s an architect). They even make a casual Lost reference, so maybe they are perfect. If they can give up their partying days in favor of a suburban life, why can’t Gretchen? Or so she thinks as she secretly pursues them on the street. She feeds, kidnaps, and later returns their pet, hoping to befriend the couple. It’s too bad her illusion shatters because Lexi and Rob have problems, just like any two people confined together (even if it’s by choice). They’re strangers to us, but YTW beautifully weaves through their journey (kudos to the writers) for a story about resentment and disappointment. It’s a good old dose of “What if?”

The final shot of “LCD Soundsystem” is a direct hit to the heart. A dejected Gretchen walks out after hearing Rob is unhappy. They don’t have it all, like she wanted so desperately for them to. She’s keeping up with Jimmy’s pace as he yaps, but he doesn’t realize his girlfriend is on the verge of a breakdown. Gutting.

6. “Try Real Hard” (season 3, episode 1)

“[Saying I love you is] a promise. It doesn’t mean you can’t fail.” Honestly, You’re The Worst‘s writers were cooking with gas when they wrote that because it’s a simple formula that most people forget to follow. No one can be exemplary always, and putting that pressure on someone can only lead to disaster in any relationship. When Gretchen tells Jimmy it’s okay to fail, she gives him (and herself) permission to make mistakes. Do they know how to deal with those yet? No, but it’s still a lovely, freeing idea. When You’re The Worst kicks off season three, it’s after the weighty issue of Gretchen’s depression, with a focus on Jimmy’s writing career and how he eventually deals with grief over his dead dad. The premiere episode, “Try Real Hard,” is relatively lighthearted as they reckon with saying those three big words. Dare we say they’re both at their romantic highs here, learning things about their backgrounds and accepting them? (Can you imagine Gretchen in Bible camp?) It’s such a beautiful display of how two people can evolve after emerging from a crisis.

Speaking of crisis, Lindsay creates a new one for herself when she lets her intrusive thoughts take over. Sick and tired of Paul’s domesticity—did he think pre-planned gourmet meals would go over well with her?—she stabs him in the back with a knife. Now she can say she’s done it literally and figuratively. It’s one of those “can’t believe this is happening” scenes, and yet, we can believe someone as selfish as Lindsay would do it with no regard for the consequences. YTW has some jaw-dropping highlights, but the ending of “Try Real Hard” and the close-up on Donahue’s face is definitely one of the top ones.

7. “You Knew It Was A Snake” (season 3, episode 12)

Desmin Borges, Colette Wolf (Photo: Byron Cohen/FX)

It might be cheating to spotlight only one part of a two-part finale, but season three’s hourlong ending is rightfully split up because “You Knew It Was A Snake” is a striking episode that feels like watching an intimate, cringeworthy, captivating play. Three couples under the same roof going berserk? Sign us up. You’re The Worst comes to a head with this installment, making six people face harsh truths. Yes, it’s a perfect lead-in to episode 13, “No Longer Just Us,” but episode 12 is remarkable in its own right. For starters, it demands patience. Much like “There Is Not Currently A Problem,” which also takes place in one location, this episode induces claustrophobia.

Gretchen and Jimmy fight about their pros-and-cons list. Paul justifiably freaks out on Lindsay for getting an abortion without telling him. Edgar and Dorothy finally discuss how their career paths are diverging. These are the kinds of conversations that can make or break a partnership. You’re The Worst gives us three of them in one go, so it’s a real feast. Their arguments might feel repetitive, but let’s give them the benefit of the doubt, because what couple doesn’t love to fight about the same shit over and over? Gretchen and Jimmy’s schtick is common three seasons in, but YTW grapples with how to handle it maturely. Conversely, Paul earns an edge as he stands up to his ex-wife, telling her to “Lawyer it up, bitch” because he’s had enough of her tantrums and lies.

It might not seem like it, but it’s Dorothy and Edgar who get the most painful storyline. Their instinct is to attack each other where it hurts most. He says she only likes him when he’s low and struggling, while Dorothy’s envious he somehow made it big and she did not. Dissatisfaction has been creeping into their romance for a while, and “You Knew It Was A Snake” lets them air it out oddly satisfyingly. That’s why Edgar feels relief when she packs up and leaves for Florida. At least he can breathe again, and hopefully, she can start fresh.

8. “From The Beginning, I Was Screwed” (season 4, episode 11)

You know that sickening feeling when you’re tempted to text an ex or check in on them? Even if things are going well in a new relationship, it’s hard to let go of the pleasures of the past. It sucks, but it’s also inevitable, especially in the case of magnets like Jimmy and Gretchen. She’s finally with a normal dude like Boone (Colin Ferguson) and bonding with his young daughter. That’s way too much normalcy for her, so she does what she does best: runs. Except this time, she’s running towards Jimmy and not away from him. She reaches out to him and they frolic around, reminiscing and getting into their wry ways before succumbing to a kiss. The memories of taco night with Boone are long gone.

It was bound to happen. Jimmy and Gretchen’s connection is so deep that they can’t be with anyone else. Boone might be stabilizing and good for her, but she isn’t for him. It’s an odd realization because Gretchen could be fine with a different guy, but her true joy comes from the inanity that comes with Jimmy. Season four separates the couple—and the cast, actually—for disparate storylines, making it comparatively weaker than the rest of the show. But don’t worry, folks, it all has a payoff.

9. “Fake Relationship Story” (season 5, episode 1)

If you’ve ever imagined a trauma-free version of Jimmy and Gretchen, well, so has You’re The Worst in its funky, ’90s-homage-paying final-season premiere. “Fake Relationship Story,” as the title suggests, sees the engaged couple tell a massive lie to their wedding planner about how they met because they think crafting a fictional couple like Jake and Gemma is better than going with “we met, we smoked, we fucked, and the rest is history.” Their real context feels far too crazy, even if it’s what makes them special. This is such a smart way to start the show’s final chapter because it gives the audience a chance to see why YTW has been unique so far.

“Fake Relationship Story” might not appease those who wanted an update on everyone after the season-four finale, but much like “LCD Soundsystem,” it uses a standalone method to dig deeper into Gretchen and Jimmy’s psyches. They may have conjured up random nonsense with Jake and Gemma, who meet at a video store in 1997 and their connection stretches through the Y2K craze and beyond, but it’s still them (as evidenced in lines like “I need you to come back to my place and fuck me like yesterday”). In the end, Jimmy reassures Gretchen (and us) that their love story supersedes the rest because no one else is more authentic. And he’s right.

10. “Pancakes” (season 5, episode 13)

You’re The Worst closes with a non-traditional wedding. What better place for two dysfunctional people to “marry” each other, right? It’s not a signed document, it’s a promise (and a nice callback to the season-three premiere). Gretchen and Jimmy decide to take each day as it comes, warts and all. They choose to be with each other, as “Pancakes” reveals, living a somewhat normal life with kids, fights, depression, friends, and a house. They’re a family. You’re The Worst was never going to end with a happily-ever-after, but it does end with a cautiously-optimistic-ever-after. Sometimes that’s the best you can hope for. The final two seasons got some flak for dragging on and not being as incisive as You’re The Worst‘s early run, but there’s no denying that “Pancakes” is a terrific series finale that works, considering the people Gretchen, Jimmy, Lindsay, and Edgar have grown into. Best of all, the show wraps up with the same scathing tone that made it stand out in its premiere.