Academy storms the stage, raises its hand, and promises “appropriate action” over Will Smith incident

Did you hear about the Oscars? It was wild! CODA won Best Picture! Also, Dune. Wow, Dune. That movie won a lot of awards. And the outfits? What was Julia Fox wearing? Oh, also, after Chris Rock made a musty, old G.I. Jane joke about Jada Pinkett-Smith, her husband Willennium C. Smith “smacked the shit” out of Chris Rock.

It was, as they say, pretty remarkable television, even if it did damn the discourse for the next few weeks. But let’s take a second to honor those who, like Smith, aren’t taking this incident sitting down. Two days after the Oscars became a backdoor pilot for the reboot of NBC’s The Slap, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Science sent a sternly worded letter to its members, vowing action!

Per Variety, the letter acknowledges the “many individuals in our community who did incredible work this past year” but are “upset and outraged” that Chris Rock would make a joke featuring the words “G.I. Jane” in the year of our lord 2022 the entertainer who the Academy named Best Actor of the year would “smack the shit” out of a presenter.

Of course, Academy President David Rubin promises that the “Academy’s Board of Governors will now make a determination on appropriate action for Mr. Smith.” There’s probably something in the bylaws about winners smacking “the shit” out of Chris Rock. They just haven’t found it yet.

Please feel free to peruse the letter at your earliest convenience.

Dear Members,

Sunday’s telecast of the 94th Oscars was meant to be a celebration of the many individuals in our community who did incredible work this past year. We are upset and outraged that those moments were overshadowed by the unacceptable and harmful behavior on stage by a nominee.

To be clear, we condemn Mr. Smith’s actions that transpired Sunday night.

As outlined in our bylaws, the Academy’s Board of Governors will now make a determination on appropriate action for Mr. Smith. As governed by California law regarding members of nonprofit organizations like the Academy, and set forth in our Standards of Conduct, this must follow an official process that will take a few weeks.

We will continue to update you on any developments, but we also ask that you respect your Board, Academy staff and the process as this unfolds so it can work in the considered way it was intended and mandated.

Please trust that the Board of Governors will conduct this process in a manner that is both expedient and respectful of all involved while maintaining the standards of the Academy.

Thank you,

David Rubin, President Dawn Hudson, CEO

So we wait for anyone, anywhere to do something about two millionaires having a very public altercation that has made us even hungry for takes.
When will our take-hungry society learn? Takes are nothing but empty calories.