Ah, finally: A Ferris Bueller spinoff about the valet guys who steal his car

It’s a question that every person who’s ever watched John Hughes’ beloved teen comedy Ferris Bueler’s Day Off eventually asks: “Why are we spending all this time with these lousy kids when we could be watching the valet guys, huh? What are those valet guys up to while this dork is staring at the painting?”

Now, at last, that thirst for knowledge can be slaked, with Deadline reporting that a new film set in the wider Ferris Bueller Cinematic Universe is in the works: Sam And Victor’s Day Off, which will delve deep into, well, what those two previously unnamed valet guys (played by Richard Edson and Larry “Flash” Jenkins in the Hughes film) were up to while they were bombing around Chicago in Cameron’s dad’s car.

No, we don’t know why this is happening, either.

The film is being assembled by Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, and Josh Heald, the team behind Cobra Kai—who clearly have some expertise at delving much deeper into the mythologies of iconic ’80s movies than one might initially assume they’d support. Bill Posley is apparently writing the script.

And, like, are we wrong, or does this feel like something that would have been pitched maybe five streaming services ago? Maybe during that heady period when, hell, anything could be a Quibi if you had the cash and just believed hard enough? Bueller is still beloved, of course, but it’s not like anyone knows who the hell “Sam and Victor” are; you’re basically assuming that audiences will see the words “Day Off” in the title, hear one of those “Bow bow ohhhhh yeah”s off the soundtrack in the trailer, and have some sort of Pavlovian reaction forcing them to check out the film. Why not just write an original comedy about some valet guys? What does the Bueller connection even do? Is this one of those things where someone’s trying to hold on to a copyright or something? It’s utterly baffling stuff.