Bagman
What's the first thing you do when you escape from prison? Change your clothes? Maybe spend a little quality time with a special lady? How about just lying low for a while and letting the heat pass? Sure, you could do any of those things, but if you want to be immortalized in a video game, you head straight for the mine where you stashed your loot, and try to collect.
Gameplay: The concept is straightforward: pick up the money, put it into the wheelbarrow, and walk away. But seldom has such a simple task been so insanely hard. Whenever you pick up a sack of cash, your movement speed is cut in half, making you an easy target for the guards who roam the mine. Your only real defense is to whack them with a pickaxe, or drop bags of loot on their heads. In a poetic metaphor for the inherent unfairness of life, when you drop one of your hard-earned money bags on a guard, he'll fall down for a few seconds and quickly get back up, but if he so much as touches you, you die. If things get too dicey, you can also flee in a mine cart, but be careful: They'll run you over just as easily as they'll whisk you to safety. (Figure out that metaphor on your own, and turn it in next week. Two hundred words or less, please.)
Could be mistaken for: Super Bagman, DigDug, The Shawshank Redemption.
Kids today might not like it because: Even though he's obviously a convicted criminal, Bagman doesn't have a recording contract or a pimped-out Escalade.
Kids today might like it because: Bagman's flagrant disregard for safety and authority is an inspiration to all.
Enduring contribution to gaming history: Although it was nearly impossible for players to get very far, Bagman was a fun and surprisingly popular game. This created a market for other nearly impossible-to-win games like The Quest For The Man In The Canoe and Global Thermonuclear War. —Wil Wheaton
Wil Wheaton has the all-time high score in The Quest For The Man In The Canoe, baby. Oh yeah.
Images courtey of the International Arcade Museum and the Killer List Of Video Games.