Bong Joon-ho’s Mickey 17 to spin in his space tanning bed until January 2025

At last, some hope for poor Robert Pattinson. After more than a year of spinning around in that tanning bed from the teaser trailer for Mickey 17, Pattinson’s release is imminent. Per The Wrap, Bong Joon-ho’s much-anticipated and unfortunately delayed follow-up to Parasite, a science fiction brain scrambler called Mickey 17, is getting one of those coveted January releases we’re never making fun of.

Initially set to bow on March 29, 2024, Mickey 17 has been bumped to January 31, 2025. Last month, it was announced that Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire would take Mickey’s March release date as if a baby Kong and a pink Godzilla would fill the hole left by our Bong scarcity. Thankfully, that worked because we can’t get enough of those I.P. newborns that extend the life of a franchise by at least a couple of months. Furthermore, who are we to stop a subtitle showdown between The New Empire and Ghostbusters: Frozen Empire? New vs. Frozen. Now that’s a recipe for boffo B.O.

It’s unclear why Mickey 17 was moved from March 2024 to January 2025. No reason was ever given. We could certainly come up with some theories, but most of those involve Pattinson getting stuck in the spin-cycle of his weird future tanning bed. Overall, we’d say this signals a lack of confidence in the film from the studio, but they’re giving it an IMAX release, so there’s that.

Based on the novel Mickey7, a sci-fi satire about a disposable employee who is regenerated every time he dies on the job. Eventually, one of these Mickeys catches on to the game and works to prevent his untimely, recurring death. However, based on context clues, the book Mickey is much more intelligent than the movie Mickey, as it only takes the book Mickey seven iterations to figure it out. Can you imagine how dumb a Mickey has to be to die 17 times before realizing they don’t get health coverage? Bring on dumb Mickey.