Bridgerton’s Ruby Barker says she got “no support” from Netflix after having a “psychotic break”

Ruby Barker, who played Marina on Netflix’s Bridgertron, has spoken up about the negative impact that being on the show has taken on her mental health, saying she suffered two “psychotic breaks” and that nobody from Netflix or production company Shondaland reached out to her to see how she was doing.

Barker brought this all up on Oxford University’s LOAF Podcast (via Variety), explaining that the way her character was ostracized from society in the show—due to a secret pregnancy—made her feel isolated in real life, saying she was “deteriorating” as filming went on. It was bad enough that she checked into a hospital right after wrapping on the show’s first season, and she said that it was “really covered up and kept on the down-low” because she still had to help promote the show. And yet, she claims, there was “no support” from Netflix or Shondaland and “there still hasn’t been any support.”

A Daily Mail report notes that Barker has talked about mental health struggles on social media regularly, and at one point she thanked Netflix for giving her the opportunity to be in Bridgerton and “saving her.” In this podcast, though, she argues that it still felt like having a “metaphorical invisible gun” to her head after working on the show because Bridgerton was supposed to be “bubbly and fun,” and she felt like she couldn’t “come out and poo poo” the experience by talking about how hard it was for her because she’d “never work again.” Without support from Netflix or Shondaland, she says she was “trying really, really hard to act like it was ok” and that “it wasn’t a problem.”

Netflix and Shondaland have yet to publicly comment on the claims Barker has made about her experience.