Britney Spears is "buying a horse soon" as she reportedly heads for divorce

There are a shocking number of horse-related idioms one could use to describe a faltering relationship. Maybe they picked the wrong horse, or put the cart before the horse. He just couldn’t get off his high horse, you know? Perhaps she shouldn’t have looked a gift horse in the mouth. They really just needed to hold their horses on the whole thing. And so on.

So, when Britney Spears posts that she’s “Buying a horse soon (horse emoji)!!!” less than 24 hours after TMZ first reported that the pop star and husband Sam Asghari were separated and may be heading for divorce, one could be forgiven for assuming that the “horse” in question was more of the metaphorical variety. But… nope! This is the cheetah lover-in-chief we’re talking about here. You kind of have to take whatever she says at face value.

The notes app divorce notice? Tired. Stream-of-consciousness announcing the new pet you intend to buy? Absolutely wired.

Per Spears’ post, there are “so many options” for her new equine friend that “it’s kinda hard.” She could get Sophie or she could get Roar (presumably the handsome gentlehorse featured in the post). She just “can’t make up my mind (monkey covering eyes emoji)!!!”

The “Mind Your Business” singer also beseeched her followers for some fashion advice: “Should I join the camaraderie and put a pink cowboy hat on (tongue out emoji)???” She may mean “community” here, but honestly, who are we to impose such a basic interpretation on the pop princess’ words?

Whether or not the pink cowboy hat (possibly an homage to Barbie?) is donned or not, it sounds like Britney is more than happy with her new partner-in-crime, Roar. “Either way I think I found my sweet spot with Roar (kissy face emoji)!!!” she wrote. Whether or not the couple reconcile or actually file for divorce, it sounds like Britney has no problem holding her own reins.