No one in the newly revealed Among Us cast is an imposter

It would have been a whole lot harder to kick those cute little Among Us astronauts into the unfeeling void if they could speak up to defend themselves. But if you’re one of the over 40 million people still firing up the game in real-time (no judgment here: everything Daniel Craig did in Glass Onion is cool), don’t worry: their blood won’t be on your hands. Unfortunately, the ethical implications of kicking innocent crew members into space are about to get a lot more obvious in CBS’ upcoming series based on the game, which just revealed its first round of beloved voice actors—none of whom will be easy to watch (or, we guess, hear) die. Should we all just go back to The Traitors and call it a day?

Randall Park, Yvette Nicole Brown, Elijah Wood, and Ashley Johnson (who voiced Ellie in The Last Of Us games and played her mom in the TV series) are the first additions to CBS’ crew. While the characters didn’t have any stable personalities in the mobile game (you could give them funny hats and cute little pets to follow them around while they tried and failed to swipe a card for two minutes), they apparently will now.

In a press release that describes the characters as if they were contestants on The Bachelor, CBS revealed that Park’s character, “Red,” will serve as captain of The Skeld (the characters’ no-so-impenetrable space vessel). He’s apparently a “people-pleaser” and a “blowhard” who’s tasked with “leadership” and “confidence.” His fun fact? He “failed upward.”

Johnson—“Purple”—is the Chief of Security. She’s suspicious and sarcastic and her “task” is “wet blanket” (we don’t really get it either). Her “fun” fact is that she has trust issues, which certainly doesn’t bode well for a group that eliminates people based almost entirely on hearsay.

The descriptions only get goofier (and meaner) from here. Brown plays HR manager “Orange,” a.k.a. “spineless corporate shill.” (Get her, CBS!) Her task is to “eliminate redundancy, redundantly,” and her fun fact is that she “fires you over email.” We’re starting to suspect someone at the network is a little mad at their boss. On the other hand, Wood plays “Green,” the “unpaid intern” who’s just “happy to be there.” His task is to do whatever he’s told and his fun fact is that he “gets paid in pizza.” Run, Green! Pepperoni and a line on your resume aren’t worth dying over… unless he’s been the imposter the whole time… hmmm.

No release date has been announced as of this writing.