Colleen Ballinger is back, sans ukulele

Almost five months after introducing the term “toxic gossip train” to the world, Colleen Ballinger decided to drop her ukulele off at Manipulation Station and go the rest of the way on foot. In a new video posted to her YouTube channel, the former Miranda Sings actor and disgraced vlogger reemerged to apologize for both bad behavior in the past and her much-maligned first attempt at an apology.

Sitting in front of a mostly-made bed in the typical YouTuber-eating-crow pose, Ballinger opens her video by admitting that her previous embodiment of someone resembling Jess from New Girl’s Evil Twin wasn’t the best idea. “Obviously, the last video that I posted on here is really embarrassing, to say the least. I was being accused of some pretty awful things and I just was mad,” she says in the video, simply titled “fall vlog.” “I should have handled that situation with maturity and empathy, but instead I just let my ego take over and I’m really disappointed in myself.”

Spurred on by claims from a younger YouTuber named Adam McIntyre, Ballinger faced a wave of accusations of grooming, inappropriate sexual behavior, and exploitation from a group of former fans earlier this summer. Those fans, many of whom were underage and part of a special inner-circle chat called “Colleenies Weenies,” alleged that the YouTube megastar sent them lingerie, exploited their labor on her social media channels for no pay, and leaned on them in an “emotionally abusive” manner amid her breakup with her now ex-husband. Ballinger responded in her now infamous ukulele video by not actually apologizing at all and specifically claiming that she was “not a groomer, just a loser,” which seems at least half true.

Now, it seems like Ballinger is trying to rebuild some of those bridges. “Over the last 15 years of my career, there have been moments where I was immature and inappropriate with some of my comedy. And there were times when I did not put enough thought into my fan interactions. And because of that behavior, people got hurt, and I am so sorry. I never wanted to hurt anybody, but it’s clear that I did and I feel so terrible about that,” she continues.

Still, many people familiar with the ways of the blogosphere aren’t so convinced. In multiple, widely-shared posts, Twitter/X users have pointed out that late November and December is the most profitable time for creators on the site, as advertisements ramp up into the holiday season. Best practice is apparently to post videos multiple times a week or even every day as a part of a “Vlogmas” event to capitalize on this promotional boom. Ballinger does seem to be potentially taking this route—she’s already posted another video titled “What I’ve been up to” since re-entering the scene and will presumably continue to upload.

Whether or not you believe in the sincerity of Ballinger’s apology, she does seem to want viewers to know that she’s very sorry, even if the things she’s very sorry for are also very old, which she emphasizes. “I am not a perfect person and there are plenty of things in my past that I wish I could go back and redo and fix and change,” she says. “I don’t expect to change anyone’s mind with this video. I just wanted to come on here and say that I’m sorry and I wanted to try to show people that it’s possible for someone to grow and learn and be better after making mistakes many years ago.”