Hawkeye directors Bert and Bertie get in line for Disney’s Big Thunder Mountain movie

A movie based on a Disneyland theme park ride? That'll never work.

Hawkeye directors Bert and Bertie get in line for Disney’s Big Thunder Mountain movie
Big Thunder Mountain Railroad Photo: Paul Hiffmeyer/Disney Parks via Getty Images

Considering that Pirates Of The Caribbean was so huge that it spawned 25 sequels (or something like that), it’s surprising how much trouble Disney has had getting movies out of its other famous theme park rides. They’re making another Jungle Cruise and new Haunted Mansion movies, but surely we should be well into the legacy sequel era of the It’s A Small World and Spaceship Earth film franchises by now, right? Well, Deadline says another classic Disney Parks ride will soon be getting another shot at big-screen immortality, with Hawkeye directors Bert and Bertie hopping onboard Big Thunder Mountain.

Disney has wanted to do something with the Big Thunder Mountain Railroad ride for a whole decade at this point, with the most recent stab being Ronald D. Moore’s weird Magic Kingdom cinematic universe (which we haven’t heard about since it was announced, for some reason), but Disney is pretty unstoppable at this point. Nobody’s going to turn their nose up at a movie based on some natural disaster striking an old mining town anymore, because the Disney Police would show up at their door and start jacking up the prices of all their streaming services just out of spite.

Anyway, Bert and Bertie directed three episodes of Hawkeye, plus a few episodes of Our Flag Means Death, and they’ll be working off of a script from Kieran and Michele Mulroney (who worked on the underrated Sherlock Holmes: A Game Of Shadows). We don’t know anything about the plot, but we’re willing to risk our reputation and state with zero hesitation that the Big Thunder Mountain movie will involve a train or a mine cart ride or something along those lines. It will also have big-name stars, at least one man and at least one woman, and they’ll be involved in a chaste, kid-friendly romance.

 
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