Disney’s new/old CEO Bob Iger has no intention of selling to Apple

The idea of Disney owning the world is chilling, with actual Stormtroopers in Mickey Mouse ears marching through the classical Americana-inspired streets of Disneyfied cities in daily parades with mandatory attendance, followed by fireworks shows in which dissidents are exploded to the sounds of “Friend Like Me” or “Hakuna Matata.” But, at the same time, the idea of Apple owning the world has some appeal… everything is carved out of solid aluminum so it looks really clean and trendy, people are forced to wear identical sci-fi uniforms that you can pay extra to personalize a bit, and the government is replaced by a Genius Bar of experts who run a program called “planned obsolescence” that keeps the population in check.

Sadly, both of those options seem equally unlikely, with mega-corporation Disney indicating that it has no intention of selling itself off to mega-corporation Apple, which would create an even bigger and more omnipresent mega-corporation. New CEO Bob Iger, who replaced CEO Bob Chapek, who replaced CEO Bob Iger, said essentially that during a recent company-wide town hall, noting that any rumors about Apple buying Disney were “pure speculation” and that he has no current plans for major mergers or acquisitions (that comes from The Hollywood Reporter).

The origin of the “Apple is going to buy Disney” rumor is somewhat unclear, but Apple Insider pointed out—before Iger made his statement—that people have been saying it for years and that the only ones who ever seem to believe it are supposed tech insiders who refuse to accept that Apple buying Disney would be a hugely expensive risk for everyone involved. Basically, Disney has had some rough years, but that’s mostly because of COVID and it will probably bounce back (but if not, would those problems be worth taking on?), whereas Apple is flush with cash but doesn’t really do big acquisitions unless it’s specifically buying up some technology to improve Siri or Apple Music.

So Disney doesn’t want to be sold (assuming you trust anything a CEO says in a town hall meeting, and depending on your experience with CEOs, that might be a monumentally huge ask), and Apple probably doesn’t want to buy Disney, so… that seems to be that.