It’s time to take a deep breath and relax, you bitch-ass shitbags, because the merc with a mouth may belong to Disney now, but he’s still going to say whatever the fuck he wants, and you’re going to love the shit out of it.
One of the primary concerns about the monstrous Fox-Disney merger that’s taking place is what would happen to projects that don’t fit the image of the squeaky-clean Disney brand. (To paraphrase Ferris Bueller, Disney is so uptight that if you stuck a lump of coal up its ass, in two weeks, you’d have a diamond.) As we’ve noted before, the studio has historically been okay with edgier fare as long as it was released through one of their satellite companies, rather than via the main Disney logo. But what about big splashy superhero projects that Disney will doubtless want to house under its main banner? Even the star of the most successful R-rated superhero film to date has been weighing in on the question:
CEO Bob Iger has now chimed in on that issue, according to The Hollywood Reporter, and because he’s not a complete fucking moron who likes setting fire to money, Iger is assuring anxious fans Deadpool 2 will keep its R rating. So just chill, you braying thunderfucks:“[Deadpool] clearly has been and will be Marvel branded. But we think there might be an opportunity for a Marvel-R brand for something like Deadpool. As long as we let the audiences know what’s coming, we think we can manage that fine,” he says.
There might be an opportunity?! Goddamn it, Iger, how many different ways can it be explained that the first Deadpool film made $783 million fucking dollars worldwide? You’re sure as shit right audiences know what’s coming, and they like it. So you’re going to keep that motherfucking R rating, and you’re going to like it. Of course, this assurance means nothing when it comes to the many future projects that don’t already have built-in name recognition and the expectation of raw-as-shit language, as directors like James Mangold have pointed out. So this is just some sensible-ass PR which may or may not be worth a glassblower’s asshole when it comes to Disney allowing future adult-oriented properties to go forward, unfortunately.
Left undiscussed was the fucking degree to which gratuitous swearing can just make your dumb ass sound childish and unimaginative, a subject about which The A.V. Club doesn’t know a goddamn thing.