Facebook to just kinda sweep all that bad press under the rug by rebranding company with new name

The House That Zuck Built will soon go by a different name as it shifts to a "metaverse" company

Facebook to just kinda sweep all that bad press under the rug by rebranding company with new name
This face, however, isn’t going anywhere. Photo: Kevin Dietsch

Aside from the comfort of knowing that its chief executives will always have more money than a human being could reasonably spend in a lifetime, it’s been a rough few years to be an employee of Facebook. The internet’s premier destination for conspiracy theories and resurfaced photos of you being extremely drunk in college has come under fire for shitty moderation policies, spreading political misinformation, user data breaches and misuse, helping destroy legitimate news outlets, and, most recently, has had a few of the most diseased skeletons from its closet dragged out into public view by a whistleblower.

Well, all of that is in the past now because Facebook Inc. will soon have a new name.

As The Verge reports, Facebook will follow up its seismic 2019 rebranding by changing “its company name next week to reflects its focus on building the metaverse, according to a source with direct knowledge of the matter.” Filled with ghoulish Halloween power, Mark Zuckerberg is likely going to announce the new name during the October 28th Connect conference “but could unveil [it] sooner.”

The idea, apparently, is “to signal the tech giant’s ambition to be known for more than social media and all the ills that entails,” and would relegate the Facebook app to living alongside its many platforms, like Instagram, Oculus, and WhatsApp, rather than have it continue to serve as the… face… of the entire company going forward.

Zuck’s interest in metaverse stuff, recently demonstrated through a VR app called Horizon Workrooms (now Horizon Worlds) where everyone can live out their dreams of becoming rosy-cheeked digital figures with Lego piece haircuts, has been the big, non-leaked story from the company this year. It will, it seems, now be the focus of a rebrand that “could also serve to further separate the futuristic work Zuckerberg is focused on from the intense scrutiny Facebook is currently under for the way its social platform operates today.”

What name best reflects that is anyone’s guess. “A possible name could have something to do with Horizon,” the article suggests, though we think the company could do better. Why not the more scholarly Bookface, the descriptive AppHell, or a Silicon Valley naming convention standby like FCBK?

If you have suggestions, make sure to get them in now. Facebook, as we all know, is listening.

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