Well, Fox Nation is entering the original film game

In what will either be an amusing footnote or a devastating dystopian turning point in the annals of the streaming wars, Fox Nation (the streaming service for Fox News Media) has announced its first original film, The Shell Collector, based on the novel by Nancy Naigle. The Hollywood Reporter got the scoop on the streamer’s film strategy, which is meant in part to target the “female Fox News fan.”

Fox Nation president Jason Klarman tells the outlet that the company “saw the success of film” in acquisitions like old Clint Eastwood movies and The Passion of the Christ, with viewers apparently sticking around the streamer for an extra 90 minutes for its rich cinematic offerings. It was inevitable, then, that the service should pivot to its own original content.

The plan moving forward is to launch a new original film “every few months,” creating a “broad tent of programming” that appeals to the Shell Collect-ing ladies, Cops-loving dudes, and Duck Dynasty fans of all kinds. (We’ll refrain from a “the three genders” joke lest it end up becoming an angry Fox News segment.)

Klarman calls the film slate “an experiment,” saying, “We take these educated guesses based on the behavior we see on the platform and our deep knowledge of the audience.” Truthfully, it doesn’t take “deep knowledge” of the average Fox fan to guess at the kind of programming the streamer will provide. The “core genres” reportedly include “military and patriotism themes, true crime, religious themes and holiday movies,” a list anyone with a passing knowledge of Fox News could have provided.

Klarman chillingly observed that the original film strategy “fits into the whole idea of expanding into a lifestyle and entertainment service.” So if Fox News doesn’t already totally consume your loved ones’ waking hours, well, just you wait! The Shell Collector will begin streaming on Fox Nation on September 1, if that’s what you’re into.