Last year was half the year that gamers thought it would be. Naïvely placing faith in the major studios’ release targets, we expected 2009 to produce a bumper crop of sequels and intriguing originals. So we waited. Then came the mass migration, as practically every big ’09 release retreated to the hazy nether regions of “first-half 2010.” Well, 2010 is here, damn it, and our patience has long since given way to a manic froth of anticipation. By now, with our pre-order money languishing in the GameStop cash register, we don’t even care if these games are any good—we just need them to come out already.
JANUARY
Mass Effect 2
The idea: Spoiler alert: This preview spoils the beginning of the game. Skip down to MAG if this troubles you. Square-jawed outer-space military commander John Shepard dies. (That’s bad.) Then he’s brought back to life by a mysterious human-supremacy group called Cerberus. (That’s good!) The group is run by Martin Sheen. (That’s… what?)
You should have pre-ordered it already because: The trademark branching-dialogue system sees only mild tweaks, and the first game’s abysmal equipment/leveling schemes get a top-to-bottom overhaul. BioWare knew where to focus its efforts.
Or maybe save your $60 because: Seth Green’s bitchy “comic relief” character, Joker, dies an immensely satisfying death in the first scene, only to be revivified by Cerberus’ misguided scientists. You monsters!
MAG
The idea: MAG is an acronym for Massive Action Game—massive to the tune of 256 players fragging to their hearts’ content in one huge deathmatch. The story is set in the far-off year of 2025, in which our national nightmare of world peace is finally over, probably because 256 people shooting at each other is too awesome for any single peace accord to hold back.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Left 4 Dead taught the world that squad-based FPS games requiring teamwork and constant communication for survival can be incredibly fun for groups of four people. Now multiply that by 64.
Or maybe save your $60 because: MAG’s recent closed beta testing yielded what developer Zipper Interactive generously described as “server hiccups.” It’s hard to imagine servers even exist to handle the Sisyphean task of keeping the action smooth for all the people who will snatch this game up.
No More Heroes 2: Desperate Struggle
The idea: Otaku extraordinaire and lightsaber-wielding punk Travis Touchdown is urged to come out of retirement to again rise through the ranks of the United Assassins Association. In addition to tossing more playable characters into the mix, the game will feature even more convoluted plot twists and over-the-top action, including a boss with morphing boom-box armor, who uses live women as projectile weapons.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Suda51 returns to helm what he insists is the series’ conclusion—or, more accurately, the last game to star Travis Touchdown. (Make of that what you will.) Suda has achieved a rare status in the game world, akin to that of a niche film director: People will flock to his games simply because his name is attached.
Or maybe save your $60 because: According to the trailer, this is a game centering on the ramifications of revenge. Because we really need to shoehorn a message into a game where you prepare for battle by faux-masturbating with the Wii remote.
FEBRUARY
Star Trek Online
The idea: It’s Star Trek, and here’s the twist: It’s online. Set at the beginning of the 25th century—later than any of the TV shows or films—this MMORPG will allow you to play as one of the traditional races—Vulcan, Klingon, etc.—or develop your own race. Play as a Wookiee and watch the amused reactions of your fellow Trekkies!
You should have pre-ordered it already because: With City Of Heroes and Champions Online, developer Cryptic Studios proved its MMO chops. And given that the “Star Trek: The Experience” theme park is out of commission, this is the only practical way for you to board a Federation starship and pretend you’re Geordi. (Geordi was everybody’s favorite character, right?)
Or maybe save your $60 because: Star Trek Online has been in development since 2004, so the froth of anticipation is more like a crust of fatigue at this point. It remains to be seen whether the recent enthusiasm generated by J.J. Abrams’ Star Trek will translate into a critical mass of players ponying up the monthly fee.
BioShock 2
The idea: Ten years after the original BioShock, you return to the underwater city Rapture as the original Big Daddy prototype. But don’t worry, unlike that other Big Daddy suit you inhabited in the last game, this one is equipped with free will. That should come in handy.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: The biggest revelation so far about BioShock 2 is that in addition to the original’s Big Daddies and Little Sisters, 2K Games’ inspired developers have also created Big Sisters. Since that cannot possibly be the best idea they came up with, you have to assume they’re keeping the good stuff secret until release.
Or maybe save your $60 because: BioShock 2 inexplicably adds a multiplayer mode to this quintessentially single-player game. Perhaps this is one reason that Ken Levine, the mastermind of the first BioShock, wanted nothing to do with its sequel.
Dante’s Inferno
The idea: While you were drooling on your desk during that class lecture about Dante Alighieri, Dante’s Inferno executive producer Jonathan Knight decided that the 14th-century poet may have been the world’s first game designer. Hell has nine levels, so Dante’s Inferno has nine levels. How authentic.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Dante’s Inferno is a new contender in a thin-but-enjoyable genre. The God Of War series is presumably bowing out while still on top next month, and while this may feel like an also-ran, any game that starts with you killing Death can’t be half bad.
Or maybe save your $60 because: The demo released late last year was surprisingly boring, and anyone craving the game’s cocktail of nudity and blood-mist has probably gotten their fill from Bayonetta.
Aliens Vs. Predator
The idea: Keep a goofy, troubled movie franchise and long-running comics series alive with lucrative videogame synergy. The Predators, aliens, and marines each get their own individual campaign that together makes a totally plausible storyline.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Brainless sequels be damned, the original Aliens and Predator are still pretty badass. Gaming technology is now powerful enough to deliver a flawless cinematic experience, and there isn’t anyone with a pulse who wouldn’t want to stalk prey and go in for the kill as an alien or Predator. Or, you know, also play as a human.
Or maybe save your $60 because: The previous Predator: Concrete Jungle, though developed by a different team, demonstrated how a good idea with the same source material can go horribly awry.
Heavy Rain
The idea: This year’s designated Game That Will Prove How Serious Games Can Be. A cinematic thriller, Heavy Rain follows four dark, brooding characters—including a drug-addicted FBI profiler and a washed-up architect—as they pursue a serial murderer known as the Origami Killer.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: It promises to pair a sophisticated film look with a remarkably flexible story. Because the action is spread across four characters, death doesn’t necessarily mean a “Game Over” screen—the story may just move on without the poor sap who bit the dust. The lack of a do-over raises the stakes.
Or maybe save your $60 because: From the annals of needless “innovation,” Heavy Rain debuts clumsy new walking controls instead of simply using the left analog stick like every single freaking game made since 1997.
MARCH
Final Fantasy XIII
The idea: Enormous crystal-robot guys called fal’Cie (yes, pronounced “falsie”) from the paradise of Cocoon start enslaving people after an evil fal’Cie goes rogue. Because of this incursion from the underworld Pulse, specially marked humans known as l’Cie… look, the point is, you have to save the world, okay?
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Every Final Fantasy game has been a shining pinnacle of RPG design except Final Fantasy IX, which was still decent, so that’s an awfully good batting average. Also, the protagonist is named Lightning, which believe it or not, is the least painful main-character name in the series’ history.
Or maybe save your $60 because: Instead of building on the innovations of Final Fantasy XII, the 13th game in the series will backtrack and tweak the familiar Active Time Battle system that was already showing its age by Final Fantasy X. The last time the series opted to play it old-school instead of aggressively reinventing itself, the result was Final Fantasy IX. And yes, we just said that game was decent, but it also kind of sucked.
Red Dead Redemption
The idea: The Red Dead Revolver sequel by Rockstar Games looks like GTA on horses, paired with the gorgeous landscape exploration of Fallout 3.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Outside of Gun, there haven’t been a whole lot of Western games, so if you’re the cowboys-and-Indians type, this is pretty much it.
Or maybe save your $60 because: So far, the game’s trailers have shown suspiciously little action, instead focusing on cutscenes. The fact that several spouses of Rockstar San Diego employees have recently released a statement criticizing the company’s uncompensated overtime suggests that the development isn’t going smoothly.
God Of War III
The idea: Kratos’ unending supply of anger approaches Sam Kinison levels of rage, this time with the ancient Greek warrior out to destroy Olympus itself. (Really, what’s left to destroy, after the previous two games?)
You should have pre-ordered it already because: The jump to the PS3 allows up to 50 enemies to be onscreen at once instead of 15, and the game’s trailer shows that Kratos is much more nimble this time around, hopping off walls, à la Ninja Gaiden.
Or maybe save your $60 because: You can instead put that cash toward the $100 “ultimate edition,” which offers the game alongside soundtracks and a feature-length documentary. It’s all packaged in a “high-end sculpted replica of Pandora’s Box,” which presumably doubles as a great Tupperware container for leftover sandwiches.
Fez
The idea: Super Paper Mario, minus the loveable Nintendo characters, plus indie cred. A 2-D platformer at first glance, Fez takes place in a 3-D realm that you can flip and twist at will. It’s slated to come out in “early 2010,” which we’ll guess means March-ish.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Fez won the Independent Games Festival’s award for Visual Art in 2008, for good reason. The trippy contortion of the world is the most mind-bending visual since Portal’s wormholes. Fez looks like it will screw with our conception of space the way Braid screwed with time.
Or maybe save your $60 because: Last year’s IGF grand-prize winner, the twee Blueberry Garden, showed that an IGF award might not be the ironclad guarantee of little-guy-vindicating, big-industry-humiliating brilliance that we once thought it was. (Then again, as an XBLA download, Fez will probably go for much less than $60, so hell, give it a shot.)
Mega Man 10
The idea: After an enthusiastic reception for the ersatz 8-bit Mega Man 9—an experiment that amounted to a series reboot—Capcom is sticking with the NES look for the 10th entry in this 23-year-old series. This iteration adds an “easy mode” to soften Mega Man’s legendarily challenging gameplay, thus signaling the inexorable downfall of society.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: Two words: “Commando Man.”
Or maybe save your $60 because: Two more words: “Sheep Man.”
APRIL-JUNE
Alan Wake
The idea: In an attempt to cure his years-long writer’s block, mystery-thriller author Alan Wake goes with his wife Alice to a quaint small town for some R&R. Then his wife up and vanishes, giving him plenty of material for his next book. Problem solved!
You should have pre-ordered it already because: It’s refreshing to see an AAA game built around a character more cerebral than the standard space-marine archetype.
Or maybe save your $60 because: On the other hand, previews like the one below suggest that the developers might be overestimating the excitement of being Stephen King for a day.
Mafia II
The idea: An open-world game set in 1940s mob-land, Mafia II is like EA’s The Godfather II, minus the sense that its existence is so very, very wrong.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: In the eight years since Mafia was released, no other game has come close to matching its moody, immersive portrayal of Capone-era mob warfare, and the first game’s lead designer, Daniel Vávra, is at the reins of Mafia II as well.
Or maybe save your $60 because: The script is reported to weigh in at more than 700 pages, and judging by the trailer, expect it to be filled with gems like, “You against killin’ animals? How about the, uh, human animal?”
Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Conviction
The idea: Super-spy Sam Fisher is back and understandably pissed after discovering that his daughter’s death wasn’t an accident, and that his former agency is now also hunting him.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: The initial trailer made a lot of people who had previously ignored the franchise take notice, mainly because the game appears to gleefully give you free rein to torture your victims. It’s the thrill of waterboarding without all the mess.
Or maybe save your $60 because: Conviction has been in the pipeline for years now, and its most recent delay from February to April might whip up more fervor, but it doesn’t bode well for a better game in the end.
Metal Gear Solid: Peace Walker
The idea: Although Metal Gear Solid 4 would have served as a respectable swansong for Hideo Kojima’s beloved series, Konami’s notoriously indulgent auteur returned to oversee and write Peace Walker on the PSP. Kojima’s participation assures that Peace Walker fits with his overall vision, whatever the hell that may be.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: It’s more Metal Gear. In spite of the series’ winding plots and stump-speeches for pacifism, there’s something unendingly satisfying about invading an enemy base while trying to remain undetected—even if those enemy soldiers really should’ve learned by now that a cardboard box has no business being in a jungle.
Or maybe save your $60 because: Kojima did want to step away from Metal Gear, so it’s entirely possible that the narrative will become even sweatier and risk lapsing into self-parody.
Alpha Protocol
The idea: Mass Effect meets Bourne. When elite spy Michael Thorton is disavowed by the CIA and branded a criminal, he initiates the “alpha protocol” to go undercover and clear his name. Wait, there’s a protocol for that? Those spooks think of everything.
You should have pre-ordered it already because: This espionage shooter RPG represents one of the few genre mash-ups yet to be fully exploited by the game industry. But when is an enterprising developer going to create the turn-based Japanese-horror flight sim that players so desperately crave?
Or maybe save your $60 because: Thorton has a standard girl-in-the-earpiece sidekick guiding him through the action, which deflates the whole rogue-agent vibe.