Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance

Perhaps out of mere mortal jealousy, our minds can’t help but bring superheroes down to our level by asking questions born of practicality and prurience. Like, does Superman ever take a shit, and if so, wouldn’t it be with such concentrated force and velocity as to destroy Metropolis’ entire plumbing system? Which Marvel Universe character has the biggest penis? And, as a little boy asks Nicolas Cage in this trailer for Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance, when you’re basically a flaming skeleton, “What if you have to pee while you’re on fire?” After replying that it’s “awesome,” Cage confirms that, yes, it burns when he pees, fanning out an impressive flaming volley of fire-piss—a soon-to-be-iconic scene that handily sums up a superhero franchise that thankfully doesn’t take itself too seriously, and perhaps does even less so now that it’s under the direction of Crank’s Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor. There’s some stuff about evil and facing demons and blah blah blah story, but fortunately most of that is quickly washed away in the cleansing fires spewing from Cage’s every orifice. Those are all the answers we need, thanks.