Good husband Jay-Z roasts Grammys for snubbing his very famous wife

Tonight’s Grammys, an evening of police detaining artists and famous football fans plugging their new album, had been a tightly scripted affair. Thankfully, Jay-Z then received the Dr. Dre Global Impact Award. Now, the award isn’t anything too exciting, just an acknowledgment of Jay-Z’s success at making money and, for some reason, Tidal. What can we say? He’s not a businessman; he’s a business, man. However, what Hova said in his acceptance speech woke the Grammys from their teleprompter-powered night of glad-handing and Young Sheldon commercials.

Taking the stage with Blue Ivy in an attempt to cause us all to age 100 years, Jay-Z began taking the Grammys to task for never awarding his wife, some lady named Beyoncé, an Album of the Year trophy, despite her having more Grammys than any other artist.

“I don’t want to embarrass this young lady, but she has more Grammys than anyone and never won Album Of The Year,” he said with an unflappable Blue Ivy by his side. “So even by your own metrics, that doesn’t work. Think about that: The most Grammys; never won Album Of The Year. That doesn’t work.”

But after the camera cut to a stoic, silver-haired Beyoncé, complete with cowboy hat and husband-melting gaze reserved for times when Jay talks or gets in elevators, he continued to burn the hell out of some unnamed nominees.

“Some of you are going to go home tonight and feel like you’ve been robbed,” he continued. “Some of you may get robbed. Some of you don’t belong in the category.”

Again, the camera cuts to Beyoncé, who lowers her jaw as a sign for Jay to wrap it up. He does, but not before flashing a wry smile and saying, “No, when I get nervous, I tell the truth.”

Maybe Jay-Z should host next year.