Gwyneth Paltrow to bring vagina egg expertise to Shark Tank

A staple of hotel television viewing and an easy sell for when nothing else is on, Shark Tank is among the best shows to dip in and out of. Aspiring entrepreneurs come on the show and pitch “Mr. Wonderful” Kevin O’Leary on a knife that’s also a fork and he asks how you eat with it. Of course, the contestant doesn’t know, so Marc Cuban and Robert Herjavec put a 10% stake down because they think eating with a knife has potential. Who hasn’t seen someone eat an apple with a knife and thought, “Man, if I could do that, it would be so badass….”

But keeping a reality game show going for nearly 15 years needs more than stupid products and billionaires with money to burn. It needs guest stars, too. And who better to judge the supremely stupid ideas of everyday people than Gwyneth Paltrow, a millionaire with a penchant for supremely stupid ideas? The goop founder, CEO, and chief defender of such products as a jade vagina egg, a 24-karat gold dildo, and $120 disposable diapers known as [sigh] “The Diapér” will bring her knowledge of nonsense commerce to Shark Tank as a guest Shark for season 14. And who better to class up the Tank than a woman hocking pseudoscience to sad people with disposable incomes? Does anyone honestly think Daymond John can discern an authentic body vibes sticker from a forgery? This is why you must bring in your old pal Paltrow.

It’s nice to see Paltrow returning to her roots. In between appearing in MCU movies that she doesn’t remember, Paltrow starred in the inaugural Apple TV series Planet Of The Apps, an idea built off a name that someone at Apple must’ve thought was really clever. Unfortunately, no one else did, nor did they want to hear about app developers who could create the next great social network that steals your data as you doom scroll into oblivion.

The date for Paltrow’s dip in the Shark Tank has yet to be announced, but the new season kicks off this September.

[via Deadline]