Last Saturday, the people of Hawaii found themselves greeted with a horrific and alarming sight: An all-caps cellphone warning from the government, stating that a ballistic missile had been launched toward the islands, complete with a very serious looking “THIS IS NOT A DRILL.” It was, though, thankfully, a very welcome fact that nevertheless didn’t stop a low-grade panic from spreading in the minutes before the truth was revealed.
In such scary times, it’s always important to remind ourselves of our own inherent humanity, which is why we have to express our gratitude to PornHub. As always, the streaming company was quickly on-hand with some relevant statistics about people’s reactions—jerk-off-wise, that is—to the threat of imminent destruction, and they released them via Twitter today.
The chart itself isn’t so much surprising, as it is vaguely reassuring, showing, first, a huge fall-off in porn viewership once the announcement was made, and then a resurgence just as strong once it was revealed as a hoax. It just goes to show that you can never keep people and their related nerve endings down for long, not when the inspirationally short refractory period of the human spirit is there to guide the way.