Jake Gyllenhaal in talks to star in a Road House remake

Pain don’t hurt, but the passage of time might: Hence the strange sensation that accompanies news this evening that Jake Gyllenhaal is apparently in talks to star in a remake of ’80s bouncer-philosopher classic Road House.

This is per Deadline, which reports that both Gyllenhaal and director Doug Liman are “circling” the film, which would presumably put a modern spin on the Patrick Swayze vehicle, a film that examined the various pros and cons of ripping a dude’s throat out with your bare hands when he pushes you too damn far.

Liman and Gyllenhaal have both worked regularly over the last few years; the director debuted his YA sci-fi adaptation Chaos Walking during the pandemic, and filmed a movie rooted in it, Locked Down, with Anne Hathaway and Chiwetel Ejiofor. (He’s also supposedly going to be filming that movie in space with his old pal Tom Cruise.) Gyllenhaal, meanwhile, starred in The Guilty for Netflix, teaming up with Antoine Fuqua and True Detective’s Nic Pizzolatto.

(Gyllenhall also has a Swayze connection, of course; they co-starred together in Richard Kelly’s 2001 cult hit Donnie Darko, tearing into each other in a memorable scene.)

This is not the first time a Road House remake has been floated: Ronda Rousey was attached to a similar project back in 2015, which was eventually abandoned a year later.

The basic beats of the Rowdy Herrington’s 1989 film are not, admittedly, especially unique: An outsider comes to a small town and cleans it up through a combination of personal strength and overwhelming violence. It’s mostly the weird little details of Road House that have burnt themselves into the collective consciousness: The denim-heavy fashions, the strangely mannered dialogue, and especially the character of James Dalton, a very weird man who has devoted his life (and years of physical and mental training) to ensuring people only get the fun kind of rowdy in bars.

Can Gyllenhaal match it? He’s got the intensity, certainly and his action movie resumé is more than adequate. But a Zen bouncer is a very weird tightrope to walk; we’ll have to wait and see if the actor can master the art of being nice…until it’s time to not be nice.