It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s a Jared Leto publicity stunt

It’s bad out there, dear reader. Every day, more horrors travel down the pike as humanity inches ever closer to climate death, the dissolution of civil rights, and computer algorithms designed to create art for some reason. Jared Leto gets this. Jared Leto understands this. Just as he understands you, dear reader. So, in an effort to prove the factual accuracy of his new Thirty Seconds To Mars album title, ‌It’s The End Of The World But It’s A Beautiful Day, and plug his upcoming tour Jared Leto climbed the Empire State Building. Coincidentally, upon hearing that that was the name of the album, eyes around the country began rolling furiously out of people’s heads, off tables, and into the sea.

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“The building is a testament to all the things that can be done in the world if we put our minds to it, which is largely the inspiration behind our most recent album, It’s The End Of The World But It’s A Beautiful Day,” Leto said in a statement that further increased cases of retinal detachment. “Built in just 13 short months, in one of the greatest cities in the world it has always been a powerful symbol to me of all the possibilities in life.”

Leto, it turns out, has had a “fascination” with what he calls the “world’s number one attraction” since childhood. He doesn’t know if it was Guinness World Records or King Kong that sent him on a path to promote a 30 Seconds To Mars tour this way, but “something about this iconic structure always captured my imagination.”

An avid climber, Leto has also scaled Hotel De Rome in Berlin on a whim earlier this year. Climbing, he says, helps take “the pressures of life and helps me to find a bit of freedom and equanimity,” which is nice. Unfortunately, Tom Cruise did all this with a bigger building a decade ago, so in the battle of the weirdest star, Leto still has some catching up to do.

From atop the Empire State Building, Leto and his brother and bandmate let their freak flag fly, playing hyper-chill, barely-there synth-pop that beckons fans of tall buildings to come to concerts. Will it work? Probably! There’s nothing Jared Leto can’t manifest.