Jennifer Lawrence knows things got a bit weird there for a minute

Such is the cannibalistic nature of the Hollywood starlet cycle: when a female star is on the rise, our culture is all too happy to chew her up and spit her back out, deeming her “annoying” for all the reasons we previously enjoyed her. It happened to Anne Hathaway, and it also affected Jennifer Lawrence, who admitted during an event at the BFI London Film Festival that she “lost a sense of control” during the peak of her fame.

“Between The Hunger Games coming out and winning the Oscar, I became such a commodity that I felt like every decision was a big, big group decision,” she said (per Deadline). “Because I had no idea what a huge movie star does next or what Katniss Everdeen should do after this… When I reflect now, I think of those following years as just kind of a loss of control and then a reaction to try to get back.”

The actor has returned to indie filmmaking with her new movie Causeway, the first project she’s produced under her company Excellent Cadaver. She explained the name during the event: “It’s a Sicilian mafia term for a hit on a major celebrity. It just made sense. I think there was a part of me that wanted to execute that part of me.”

And there has been, if not a death per se, a closing of a chapter for Lawrence. While she was once the queen of the blockbuster—headlining The Hunger Games as well as the X-Men reboot series—those days are now, apparently, over. “Franchises are so fun. … I could never do one now cause I’m just too old and brittle,” the 32-year-old told the crowd.

Instead, she’s setting a new course. “I’m so happy that I eventually, finally, in my late 20s kind of just stopped and made some major changes, and I got the voice in my head back,” Lawrence reflected. “Now, it feels personal to me for the first time in a long time.”