Pop-Tart movie director Jerry Seinfeld deems "movie business" dead

No one has the confidence of Jerry Seinfeld. His supreme belief in himself oozes out of every mundane premise, slight irritation, and the half-cocked smirk that graces his lips when he comes upon one of his many hilarious observations. Every time a mere mortal raises the pitch of their voice and questions, “What’s the deal?” he only grows stronger. Only the hubris of a Seinfeld, a man flying too close to the toaster on wings made of Wild Berry frosting, would lead him to declare the movie business dead a few weeks ahead of the release of his directorial debut, the Netflix comedy Unfrosted. What’s the deal with this guy?

Speaking to GQ, Seinfeld reflected on his first time behind the camera by determining that “the movie business is over” and the “dead serious” people working in said business “have no idea.” Ultimately, Seinfeld lands on an unfortunate truth about society that we all must face: “Film doesn’t occupy the pinnacle in the social, cultural hierarchy that it did for most of our lives.”

“When a movie came out, if it was good, we all went to see it. We all discussed it. We quoted lines and scenes we liked,” Seinfeld said. “Now we’re walking through a fire hose of water, just trying to see.”

The irony of his movie being put out by the largest, most powerful firehose was seemingly lost on the director of Netflix’s upcoming comedy about the invention of the Pop-Tart. Nevertheless, he continued dropping uncomfortable truths. While most of us believe Taylor Swift, a Knuckles TV show, and MrBeast thumbnails replaced movies, Seinfeld knows our reality is even sadder. In the comedian’s estimation, depression, malaise, and confusion now stand proudly at society’s center as Lawrence Of Arabia is chopped into 650 segments on TikTok for nothing.

“Disorientation replaced the movie business. Everyone I know in show business, every day, is going, What’s going on? How do you do this? What are we supposed to do now?”

Of course, we’re having some fun with the old boy. He doesn’t actually mean that people are just getting confused at home instead of watching movies. He means that instead of a culture of showbusiness professionals knowing how to make good movies that people want to see, everyone in Hollywood is just running around with their heads cut off, greenlighting comedies about toaster pastries. What’s to be confused about?