Welp, what did Jon Stewart have to say about that Presidential debate?

Well, the same thing everybody’s saying, really. Trump lied a lot, and Biden seemed old and incapable. Stewart snarked that Biden had “resting 25th Amendment face” while listening to his opponent speak, and that his gaffe about “beating” Medicare had “Democrats across the country to either jump out of windows or vomit silently into the nearest recycling bin.” As for Trump, he rounded up a bunch of the convicted felon’s falsehoods, “And we were tight on time putting this thing together. There’s plenty more.”

“Let me just say after watching tonight’s debate, both of these men should be using performance-enhancing drugs,” Stewart said. “As much of it as they can get, as many times a day, as their bodies will allow. Performance-enhancing drugs that will improve their lucidity, their ability to solve problems, and in one of the candidate’s case, improve their truthfulness, morality, and malignant narcissism. Whatever magical drugs that can kick their brains into gear, because this ain’t Olympic swimming. Oh, he solves the Middle East, but he was doping, so it doesn’t count?” For himself, “I could sure fucking use some recreational ones right now,” Stewart lamented. “Because this cannot be real life. It just can’t. Fuck. We’re America!”

Perhaps the idea of American exceptionalism is its own kind of drug, and the comedown to reality is brutal. If Jon Stewart’s approach to politics brings you any comfort, well, please enjoy his debate takes (below). If not, well… best of luck to us all!