Kristen Stewart is weary of relitigating her Twilight years with Robert Pattinson

So much of the Twilight phenomenon hinged on the obsessive, parasocial relationship fans developed with Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson and their romantic relationship. People were so invested that Twihards the world over took it as a personal betrayal when Stewart reportedly cheated on Pattinson with her Snow White And The Huntsman director. Even Donald Trump was weighing in at the time! But it seems like Stewart never really understood the hype, and she certainly doesn’t understand it now, years later, when both actors have vibrant, thriving careers.

“Rob and I can’t just keep talking about that shit, because it’s fucking weird,” she said of the relationship in a new profile for Rolling Stone. “It’s like if someone kept asking you—I mean for literally decades—‘But senior year in high school?’ You’re like, ‘Fucking A, man! I don’t know!’”

Stewart experienced intense, acute anxiety—even to the point of hospitalization—during the peak of her fame, largely because of the tabloid scrutiny. Of the rabid interest in her sexuality and sexual exploits, she recently reflected in Variety, “For so long, I was like, ‘Why are you trying to skewer me? Why are you trying to ruin my life? I’m a kid, and I don’t really know myself well enough yet.’ The idea of people going, ‘I knew that you were a little queer kid forever.’ I’m like, ‘Oh, yeah? Well, you should honestly have seen me fuck my first boyfriend.’” Of Trump’s interest, specifically, she told Rolling Stone, “Of course he had to weigh in on my tarring and feathering. It’s like, ‘What is this 20-year-old who has no idea about life doing to this man?’” She added that the former president is “such a little baby,” throwing in a, “Fuck you, bitch!”

But despite the complicated feelings that may arise from the Twilight years, and from constantly being asked about the Twilight years, she has generous feelings about the film and the people involved. (Last year, director Catherine Hardwicke revealed that she and Stewart reunited when they both crashed Pattinson’s birthday party: “We all hugged each other—like, this is so crazy and cool,” Hardwicke remembered.) She stands by her choices to make Bella a moody, awkward teen: “The studio was trying to make a movie for kids,” the actor told Rolling Stone. “They didn’t want what actually was the book. When the fuck are [Bella and Edward] smiling, ever?”

Going a step further for Variety, Stewart said she even sees a queer subtext in one of the most famous heterosexual love triangles in blockbuster history. “I don’t think it necessarily started off that way, but I also think that the fact that I was there at all, it was percolating. It’s such a gay movie,” she said. “I mean, Jesus Christ, Taylor [Lautner] and Rob and me, and it’s so hidden and not OK. I mean, a Mormon woman wrote this book. It’s all about oppression, about wanting what’s going to destroy you. That’s a very Gothic, gay inclination that I love.”