Legal hero sues theater chain Cinemark for alleged beer size fraud
A new class-action suit alleges the theater chain is selling "24 ounce" beer cups that only hold 22 ounces of liquid
Because there must always, somewhere, be a pop culture lawsuit designed to make the rest of us gently roll our eyes—and the “Yesterday used Ana de Armas to trick us into watching Yesterday!” people have finally settled out of court—we’re very excited to inform you of a new potential class action suit kicking off in Texas this week. Per THR, this particular lawsuit is being fired against theater chain Cinemark, and features some very serious allegations of what we can only think of as “beer crime.”
Specifically, Texas resident Shane Waldrop has filed a lawsuit alleging that, after suspecting something was amiss with the $8.80 Large draft beer he bought during a recent excursion to a Cinemark cinema—a.k.a., The Cathedral of Fluid Misrepresentation—Waldrop proceeded to take the cup home, measure its carrying capacity, and came to the demoralizing conclusion that the alleged 24-ounce container could only hold 22 ounces of liquid. (The lawsuit doesn’t explain exactly how this experiment was performed, which is tragic.) Waldrop then did what any reasonable human being would do in these circumstances: Launched a lawsuit alleging that the chain had committed “negligent misrepresentation, fraud, unjust enrichment and a violation of Texas’ Deceptive Trade Practices Act.”
Waldrop and his attorneys are seeking both an end to the labeling practice, as well as a “disgorgement of profits,” the latter of which will hopefully fit in a 22-ounce theater cup. The suit also indignantly points out that Cinemark, like most theater chains, tries to sell you on the big size of drinks by suggesting they’re a better value, but, well, we’ll let the actual lawsuit spell out the cold hard math for you:
This is especially misleading because the 24 oz drink should provide a deal for consumers over the 20 oz drink’s price: $0.37 per ounce vs. $0.39 per ounce. But due to the actual volume of 22 oz available in the “24 oz drink,” the price is $0.40 per ounce, making the larger drink more expensive per ounce, which is not a deal at all.
Not a deal at all. Dear god, where can the chicanery go next? Will we wake up tomorrow, only to learn that the Dune 2 popcorn buckets are no longer large enough to contain an entire internet’s worth of rapidly developing sexual fetishes? Horrors never cease.
So far, the “class-action” part of the suit is sounding pretty lonely, although, in a powerful sentence, THR notes that “The lawyers for Waldrop also seek to represent other purchasers of the 24 ounce cup.” (Meanwhile, it’s not clear at present if Waldrop also believes these hijinx apply to the chain’s soft drink cups, which are opaque, in addition to the transparent plastic beer cups he was personally measuring. How deep does the rabbit hole go, Cinemark? Are you coming for our precious Coke Zero next?!)